When domestic abuse is brought up, the common thought is that a man has abused a woman. While this is statistically more common, female on male abuse is a problem in society as well. One of the biggest problems with female on male abuse is that it is almost never talked about. It’s common for men to feel as though their speaking out about a woman abusing them, be that verbally, emotionally, or physically, makes them weaker or lesser than other men that aren’t in their situation. If a woman hits a man, and the man says something, he’s weak. If a woman insults a man and hurts him, he’s still weak, because surprise, he has emotions. If a man is raped by a woman, he’s lucky and should’ve enjoyed it. This way of thinking is extremely harmful, and discourages men from ever speaking out about abuse that they experience from women.
#MaybeSheDoesntHitYou is floating around twitter as a reaction tag to the formerly popular #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou. These hashtags explain abuse as more than just physical, and open a public eye to the verbal and emotional sides of abuse. The first, #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou was important, of course, but said everything we learned about in 8th grade health class. #MaybeSheDoesntHitYou is important though, because it opens our eyes and reminds us that abuse on males exists, but it show us the things that we may not normally think of when we think of male abuse, such as insults, forcing them to change, making them uncomfortable, or threats. This hashtag, while internet based, has gained leverage from many millennials speaking out on the abuse that most people overlook.
It is important to talk about every form of abuse, to raise awareness of it and help us all to be able to bring it to an end. Here are some forms of abuse that aren’t physical, that you can look for as red flags:
Threatening, especially “If you leave me, I’ll ______”
Wanting you to change/not be yourself
Insults to your appearance, intelligence, speech, etc.
Keeping you from family
Not letting you see friends
Being angry with you for no reason
Making you feel unworthy, or as though no one else could love you
These red flags, among others, are some of the most common non-physical forms of abuse. If you experience these in your relationship, or see them happening in another person’s relationship, don’t be afraid to speak up. You could be saving yourself or someone else from a lifetime of problems caused by abuse. Abuse on males is no less important than abuse on females, and deserves to be spoken about. #MaybeSheDoesntHitYou is helping us to raise the awareness that this issue needs.
