“Wha-chha.”
Constantly, I hear this sound from many of my male friends, where they attempt to mimic a whipping noise when they see my interactions with my girlfriend. “Spineless,” “passive,” “taken advantage of” — I’ve heard all of these jokingly said about me by guys. They see me offer to carry anything she has, to grab anything she may want or to attend something with her that may not be particularly interesting to me. Apparently, being considerate of her desires and wanting to do beneficial things for her makes me “whipped” like a slave.
What sort of reasoning is there in the idea that I need to stand up for myself instead of “giving in to whatever she wants?" Learning to compromise is not a problem or weakness. At the end of the day, there are certain issues that I will take a stand on, but those issues certainly do not include activities as simple as blow drying her hair, watching the occasional chick-flick with her or anything else deemed too "feminine" or "submissive" for a guy to do. In life, there are very few things worth arguing over and taking a stand for; the above stated actions most definitely do not fall into this category.
Why should I have such a problem with watching a movie/show that she enjoys instead of doing whatever I want yet again? I know for a fact there have been plenty of instances where she looks past her preferences to watch a basketball game or a silly show with me, simply because she is willing to make that sacrifice for me since she knows I enjoy it. Why on Earth should I not be just as willing to make that same sacrifice for her? To expect her to do what I want yet not engaging in any activity she enjoys is me being the one who is taking advantage of her, not the other way around. I think many guys lose sight of this.
As far as doing things for her to make her life easier, no matter how small of a deed it may be, I firmly believe that should be every boyfriend’s responsibility and goal. Every relationship is give and take for both individuals. With everything she does for me, to simply grab her a drink when she’s thirsty or to carry her backpack between classes is the bare minimum I should even be doing.
If treating her the way she deserves to be treated makes me “whipped,” then I will gladly take that title. To have lasted together for four years, there clearly must be something we are doing right. Maybe it’s time guys swallow their pride and understand how valued and respected a girl should be treated.
