It seems these days that if you are single, then people assume that no one likes you or that you can't find a date. No one really thinks you can be single by choice. The idea is that we graduate high school, go to college, get a job, fall in love and live happily ever after, but somehow I have managed to miss the mark on the last few parts of that story line.
Don’t get me wrong, I pride myself in being independent, but I always thought that by this time in my life that I would be married and ready to start a family; however, that’s not exactly how my life has worked out and that’s okay. I have been in situations where I have tried to make myself love someone that I didn't and in situations where I loved someone who didn't love me back; both of which are a terrible place to be. I have watched friends and family settle for the love they think they deserve because they don't want to be alone when in hindsight, they’re not really happy.
That's not how I want to live my life.
If I had a dollar for every time I saw a Facebook post stating, "Why do nice guys always finish last?", I would have as much money as Donald Trump and then some. I feel as if some guys think that because they are nice, show interest or buy you dinner that you should immediately fall in love and want to be with them, even if you have nothing in common. I don't think they always realize it doesn't work that way. Just because you buy a girl a taco, doesn't mean she owes you anything in return, especially her heart.
Some would say the "spark" is just an excuse to reject someone, but I beg to differ. I personally want something more than a guy who texts me once a week or buys me dinner on Friday night. I don't know about you, but I have met plenty of guys, been on countless dates and sometimes question if I will ever meet someone I could imagine sharing my life with. If I have one more conversation that starts with, “wyd?” or grinds to a screeching halt with “lol”, I am going to scream.
Today’s world is filled with online dating apps, Facebook, texting and so much technology that I swear guys have forgotten how to have an actual conversation, and then they wonder why I fail to respond. Imagine having dinner with a guy who only talks about his job, his car, his dog, his whatever. He makes millions, but he never for a second appears interested in anything about you. Now imagine talking to a nice guy you have nothing in common with (no matter how hard you try) and feeling as if every word is forced, "yeah…haha" or my favorite, "insert emoji here". Finally, imagine being on a date with a guy who can't seem to put his phone down, but when he is texting you, it takes him hours to respond. Are you seeing a pattern here?
These interactions sound miserable, and they are. Do you really want to do this every day for the rest of your life? I know I don't. Guys, I don’t hate you and you didn’t do anything to make me mad, I'm just not feeling it and that’s okay. I know what I want and I'm not afraid to wait for it, because I would rather be alone than be miserable trying to make a relationship work that I am not invested in. I’m not going to feed you lines about how, “it’s not you, it’s me”. I'm also not going to participate in your "friends with benefits" plea because you "like me", but don't want a commitment right now.
I refuse to settle for the guy who doesn’t call me back because he's too busy dating five other girls or the nice guy with no personality who bores me to tears. Yes, it sometimes gets old when my siblings are all bringing their significant others to Thanksgiving and my mother keeps asking me when it will be my turn because she wants more grandchildren and even when that girl on Facebook has been "in love" for the third time this week.
At times, it does get scary waiting for the "right guy" because after countless bad dates and pick up lines, I wonder whether or not he exists, but I know what I want and what I deserve. I also know that sometimes those two things are different. I could be in a relationship, but I want someone who adds to my life, not just my relationship status. I have the freedom to choose who I want to be with, and the rest of your life is a long time to be miserable. So here I am, still single, because I refuse to settle.
