"I'm sick" | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

"I'm sick"

Why I've been acting the way I've been acting

20
"I'm sick"
Abigail Fritts

I have ADHD, anxiety, and depression.

I'm also a college student.

These two worlds don't mix.

I miss class a lot. Not because I want to, but because my brain tells me to. I feel like I am constantly in a tug of war with my brain. Against itself.

Basically, this is how it breaks down:

Normal side of my brain:

"We have class at this this and this time today"

Depression side of my brain:

"but the bed is so comfortable. Just show up next meeting. Say you're sick."

Anxiety side of my brain:

"BUT WHAT IF THE TEACHER YELLS AT US FOR MISSING CLASS."

ADHD side of my brain:

"how do mermaids pee?"

Depression:

"Five more minutes. I just want to sleep"

Normal:

"No, we need to go to class. We can sleep tonight."

Anxiety:

"if we don't leave now (thirty minutes before class), We're gonna be late."

ADHD:

"BUT how do mermaids pee?"

"can we watch netflix?"

Normal:

"No, we are getting dressed and going to class."

Depression:

"But I'm tireddddd"

Anxiety:

"We have fifteen minutes. We gotta go, NOW."

ADHD:

"I'M HUNGRYYY"

Normal:

"AAAAAHHHHHHH"

And I feel horrible. Every time I look at the clock and see that I should be in class, I cry. but it is literally that conversation or one very similar to it that happens in my brain. I can't keep up. Usually depression wins and I sleep. Sometimes anxiety wins and I just hide in my room all day. Sometimes ADHD wins and I go eat. Either way, I rarely win.

When my friends ask where I am, I can't answer honestly. I'm too ashamed. So usually the answer is "I'm sick" though I be perfectly healthy.

When asked "how are you?" and my answer is "tired" I mean it. Because I am. I am so tired.

I pushed so many people away, and I hate myself for it.

I look back on these last two years of school and just wonder what happened. Like I feel like I am just a shell of who I once was.

I want to go back. I want to get back to old me. I just don't know how. The only thing I know is this: I feel so alone. And, "I'm sick."


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

124281
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

27422
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Hygiene Tips For All College Athletes

College athletes, it's time we talk about sports hygiene.

25618
Woman doing pull-ups on bars with sun shining behind her.

I got a request to talk about college athletes hygiene so here it is.

College athletes, I get it, you are busy! From class, to morning workouts, to study table, to practice, and more. But that does not excuse the fact that your hygiene comes first! Here are some tips when it comes to taking care of your self.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments