I think at some point in our lives we have all struggled with body image. There have been days or maybe even weeks where we’ve looked at ourselves in the mirror and been disappointed with what we’ve seen. We’ve wished our thighs were a little slimmer, our skin was a little clearer, or that all the effort we’ve been putting in at the gym would finally start producing results. I’ve come to the realization that no matter how far we come with body acceptance, that we’ll always have days like this and that’s okay.

But I don’t want to talk about those days. I want to talk about the days when you know you look good; when you look in the mirror and you just feel good. I want to talk about the days where you spend a little longer in the bathroom because you love what you see. Maybe it’s because you finally perfected your winged eyeliner, or maybe it’s because your hair is finally falling the way it’s supposed to. Whatever the reason, it feels amazing. And you want to share this amazing feeling with the world, so you post a selfie. And no matter how much support you get from your friends and peers, there’s always that one person who has something negative to say. And for some reason despite all the love in the world, it is never enough to mask the hurt you feel from that one comment.

Just the other day I was talking to a good friend of mine. I told him I was feeling really good that morning. I had taken the time to do my hair and actually dress up for work and I could just tell it was going to be a good day. I even posted a picture because I was feeling that great about myself. He was super nice and complimented how I looked, and I thanked him and agreed. I knew I looked pretty and I felt it. Instantly he changed the tone of the conversation. He told me to stop being so cocky, because that’s a “huge turnoff for guys.” I was so confused. He had just told me that he thought I looked pretty, so what was so wrong of me to think so, too? When I asked him to clarify, he told me that I’m allowed to think I’m pretty, but I’m not allowed to say it because people could take it the wrong way. I went to work that day, with my little ball of sunshine dimmed. Maybe he was right, was I stupid for posting that picture? Was I stupid for agreeing that I looked beautiful?

But you know what, I’m not stupid, he is. As I sat at work that day, I thought of all the times as a little girl I sat, staring at myself in the mirror and pointing out all the things that I wished I could change about myself. I sat there hating my crooked nose, the gap between my teeth, and how my hair wasn’t thick and long like all my friends. I remembered all the times in high school, I would skip meals so I would look just a teensy bit thinner or workout way harder than I needed to because of some comment a boy made to me in class. I thought about all those dark thoughts that I used to have and how they used to eat away at me every single day, and how far I’ve come from that. I’m allowed to think I’m beautiful, in fact, I think every one should be in love with the way they look. Take a thousand selfies, agree with compliments and love the way that you are because you are more than good enough. And most importantly ignore the people who think otherwise, because being a person that brings other people down is the ugliest kind of person that you can be.