There's a line from a song by the band the Ataris that goes "being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up", and I don't think truer words have ever been spoken. Life is hard, and being an adult is even harder. There's times that I don't want to get out of bed, and there's times that life seriously smacks me in the face, and to that, I say that I will grow up when I am ready and life can just take a chill pill.
You don't really realize how much you are not ready to grow up until you sit back and realize your friends are all getting married and having children. I grew up being best friends with a few girls I always knew would have my back. When we graduated high school, we knew we would all stay close, even if we ended up in different cities. When you were a kid, you always just kind of assumed that your best friends and you would always do everything together. You would get married at the same time, your kids would be friends, and you would always keep in touch. This all seems like the way the grand scheme of things would play out. Well, it doesn't work that way.
Flash-forward to 2017: one of us is married, one of us is having a baby, one of us is in another country, and one of us just here. Guess which one is me? Yeah, I'm just here. The one who just graduated college and doesn't see her life changing anytime soon. I'm pretty much Lena Dunham from Girls, because I'm a broke college graduate who is content with being so. I'm 23, and I have an English degree. I don't want to be a writer, or a teacher, or anything like that. I just want to live my life to the fullest, and not have to worry about anything. I still laugh at stupid childish things like sexual references, and I don't wear matching socks. I don't have my life together, and I'm not really concerned with doing so. I want to hop around and try out numerous jobs until I find myself. I'm not ready to settle down, get married, or have children. I just don't think that life is for me, at least not yet anyway. I am in no way judging my friends or being judgmental towards anyone, but being an adult kind of well...stinks. You are forced to pay for your own bills and be an outstanding member of society. Being in my early twenties is supposed to be some of the best times of my life, and all I want to do is sit on my bed at 2 am watching Spongebob, laugh at the corny jokes, and eat ice cream, go jump in a pile of leaves, or soemthing irrational like that. My childhood was the best, and I'm not ready to let go of my teenage self for this adulting thing. I'm not ready to grow up, and I think that is totally okay. I'm in my early 20's, and all I want to do is to go out and enjoy the life I am given and live everyday like it's a new one. Peter Pan never grew up, so who says I have to anytime soon?
