In the midst of times of change it's easy to desire to control our surroundings. Our fear of the unknown leads to a desire to eliminate the things that make us uncertain. While this is certainly tempting, oftentimes the desire to control becomes more of a stressor than the original uncertainty.
This weekend I returned to college for training and as we've begun to talk about what the upcoming year will look like, I keep being reminded that a lot of what will happen is beyond my control. My job in student leadership, and more importantly, as a Christian, is to be open to the ways in which God will call me to work. I cannot prepare for every situation I will encounter, I will not be able to control the way people respond to the things I say and do, and I certainly won't be able to know what is ahead; but my God is greater. While I'm wandering around the forest, seeing everything from my small perspective on the ground, God is seeing the bigger picture, the bird's eye view. I may not know the future, but I have a God who knows everything, down to the number of hairs on my head.
This summer my horse, Tucker, and I were part or a team that performed a pattern to music. He is quite intelligent and quickly figured out what he was supposed to do and what order the different maneuvers happened in. Occasionally we would modify the pattern during a performance or we would ride a different position in the pattern. Whenever this happened, Tucker would fight me about which direction we were supposed to be going. From his perspective, we always did the same thing, so any variation from the normal meant that I was wrong and he would try to correct me. What Tucker couldn't see was the pattern from my perspective, I was directing him differently because of factors that were beyond his comprehension. All too often, I'm like Tucker, resisting changes because I can't see the larger picture and don't understand that there are reasons for the changes happening.
This year needs to be a year where my attitude is of surrender to God, saying "not my will, but yours." If I truly believe that God is who he says he is, then he is worthy of all of my trust, regardless of whether or not what he's doing makes sense to me. God is good, even when our circumstances seem to be bad. We can only see such a small glimpse of the plan. In everything, patience to wait on God's timing must be forefront, that I am walking with God rather than charging ahead with my own plans and hoping that God is cool with my way of doing things.