I'm The Girl With A Big Heart

I'm The Girl With A Big Heart

The battle between desperately wanting love and being terrified of opening up to someone.
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People think having a big heart is a great thing... unless you're someone with a big heart. Having a big heart means constantly trying to fix others and their problems.

It means falling too quickly and too deeply. It means constantly living in fear of disappointing others. And a lot of times, it means feeling empty. Because not everyone is like you, you're often misunderstood and left longing for more love and care.

Growing up with a big heart meant that I constantly longed for more. I wanted to have lots of meaningful friendships and for my family to get along. I wanted everyone to be happy: including myself. But I was always left longing. I had some friends but really only two or three deep connections and my family never did get along. These circumstances kept me in a state of sadness. I desperately searched for love from other people to fill the holes left by those who were suppose to make me feel whole.

As I got older, I found myself in relationships that never worked out. The guys I dated were cool - we had fun and I could always talk to them. When my first boyfriend told me he loved me, I broke down the walls and let myself fall deeper and deeper into his words. But that's all there was. Words. After months of realizing the holes he had created, I let him go. I dappled in a couple of other relationships - each time falling into the same trap before meeting HIM. This boy, he's something else. In many ways, we're different. But when it comes to our heart, we're very much the same. We have big hearts and a lot of love to give. But combining two young, damaged hearts might be a recipe for disaster. How can two people who have been hurt so much, trust each other? But then again, how can they not? It could all end in terrible disaster but we'll make the jump.

Having a big heart means constantly battling between desperately wanting love and being terrified of opening up to someone and falling. Having a big heart means being open and willing but careful.The battle between desperately wanting love and being terrified of opening up to someone. Having a big heart means always being aware that you may never find the love you're seeking but loving anyway. We're just living in a state of hopeless love.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Senior Graduating High School In A Month

"What feels like the end, is often the beginning."
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It wasn’t too long ago that I was in your shoes. Just a little over a year ago, I was the senior that had a month left. One month left in the hometown that I grew up in. One month left with the friends that I didn’t want to leave. One month left in the place that I had called “my school” for the past four years. You are probably thinking the same things I thought whenever it came down to only 30 days left. You’re probably scared, nervous, worried, or anxious. Maybe you’re like me and are dying to get out of high school, ready to start a new chapter. Or maybe you aren’t so ready yet. Maybe you’re wishing for a little more time.

As scary as it is, this month you have left will fly by. You’ll blink and you’ll be standing in your cap and gown, waiting for your name to be called to receive your diploma. You’ll look back on your last four years at your school and wonder why time went by so fast. It’ll be bittersweet. However, trust me when I say that you have so much to look forward to. You are about to begin taking the steps to build your future. You are going to grow and learn so much more than any high school class could teach you. You are going to meet amazing people and accomplish amazing things. So, as scared as you might be, I encourage you to take that first step out of your comfort zone and face this world head on. Chase your dreams and work towards your goals. You are smart. You are brave. You are capable of achieving amazing things. All your life, the lessons you have learned have prepared you for this point in your life. You are more than ready.

There are times when you will feel alone, scared, or confused. There are times when it won’t always be easy. But those are the times when you will shine the most because I know you will work through whatever problems you may face. Don’t think of the bad times as a terrible thing. Use them all as learning experiences. As author Joshua Marine once said, “Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”

You might think that this is the end. However, it’s not. This is only the beginning. Trust me when I say that the adventures and opportunities you are about to face are nothing compared to high school. Whether you are going to college, going to work, or something else, this is the beginning of your journey called life. It will be exciting, it will be terrifying, but it will all be worth it.

So, as you walk out of your high school for the very last time, I encourage you to take a deep breath. Relax. You’ll always have the memories to look back on from high school. But your time is now, it begins today. Embrace it.

Cover Image Credit: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1152445/images/o-HIGH-SCHOOL-GRADUATION-facebook.jpg

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Looking for a fright? Try "Dying Light."

Good night, good luck.

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"This is Jade, get to the nearest safehouse and wait until dawn... Good night, and good luck." The radio goes off as your watch beeps. It is now 21:00, and you are in danger. In the night, things are never the same...

Dying Light is one of the most iconic zombie games of this era, featuring never before seen concepts in its genre. It also features one of the most scary features of all, drawing inspiration from Minecraft. Here are all the things that makes Dying Light terrifying. Beware, violent images ahead.

A better "Dead Island"

"Dying Light" was developed by Techland - a company famous for its prior zombie game: Dead Island. Dead Island was a hit due to its new mechanics involving heavy emphasis on melee combat and weapon crafting. This put players in a tough spot because unlike its predecessors of "Left 4 Dead" or "Killing Floor," guns are a rarity and survival depends on resourcefulness.

After the failed release of "Dead Island: Riptide" - a low effort expansion - Techland parted ways with their publisher Deep Silver, in pursuit of a game that they can formulate on their own.

Dying Light - Launch Trailer | PS4 Youtube

Flash forward to 2015, and "Dying Light" was released with massive success. It featured functions not available in "Dead Island" while debuting a new feature: parkour. Yes, you read that right, parkour.

Parkour?

Parkour was an interesting system to be implemented in a zombie game, but it would make total sense when you think more about it. Imagine the streets being filled with mindless zombies. One bite, and you're infected. Leave untreated, and you're gone. The rooftops is the only safe option, and you need the athleticism to scale buildings and run away from danger. In Dying Light, you're not a hunter. You're the hunted.

The night

Fear not the day, for night is your true enemy. In "Dying Light," zombies are infected with a special virus. This strain of virus is afraid of UV light, meaning that during the day, the zombies' motor functions are extremely suppressed, making them sluggish and dumb. But when night comes, the virus unleashes its full potential, turning slow zombies into athletic and crazed chasers that can pursuit you for miles at incredible speeds.

Run and pray they don't catch you Giphy

Other than that, at night, a special mutation of zombies appear called "Volatiles." They are athletically superior, incredibly strong, and are terrifying. They usually emit a gargling sound and makes clicking noises, both of which join together for a scary combo. Plus, in the night, you are vulnerable. Sneaking while watching out for monsters in the dark isn't exactly easy.

Equipped with a UV Flashlight with limited battery life, you are left with only one weapon for self-defense if you ever find yourself in a pursuit. And in all cases, just run.

Noises

"Dying Light" has an interesting approach to noise. Zombies are very sensitive to noises. A gunshot, an explosion, a car alarm, or a loud crash onto a crumbling building could attract hordes to your position. In this game, noises determine your survival at night. Know when to throw a firecracker for distraction or when to trip car alarm traps could mean the difference between surviving a night and not seeing the day.


Dying Light Noise Attracts Virals www.youtube.com


Closing words

"Dying Light" promises a unique zombie experience different from most games. It's gritty, it's scary, and it's fun - these standards are those that game developers could only dream about when designing a zombie franchise. Nothing is more bone-chilling than hearing a volatile scream as the night comes, an explosion going off nearby, or when the sun sets gently behind the slums of Harran. But zombies aren't the only threats. Humans are an entire different ball game, but that's up to you to explore.

Good night and good luck...

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