I am dying to live. So often I feel trapped in the box that my life has become. This box is not made of cardboard or paper, but rather glass: I can see what's around me but it's out of reach. I can hold my finger up to the sky but there is always a thin sheet separating who and where I am and where I want to be. There are so many places I want to go, things I want to do, yet I am stuck in the endless, mindless routine of class, work and hours upon hours of studying. My body runs on the fuel of caffeine. I feel trapped, stuck in my box, desperately looking for a way to touch what's outside. However, my box is held together with the tape of my inability to say “yes." I am finding myself making excuses for why I am afraid to take a step in a new direction. I have the ability to break the walls of the box confining me, yet I am too scared to pick up the mallet.
So often we push off adventures, making excuses to justify our endless cycle of waiting. “I'll do that when I get a job" or "after college” become common phrases, as though the future will be filled with endless opportunities to cross off all the items on our bucket lists and fulfill every dream. I have also fallen prey to this pattern of thought, as it is so easy to push things off to the future, convincing my present self that this not attainable now but will be then, even though I know that this may not be the case and that these opportunities may not be presented in the future years.
I don't want look back in twenty years and regret saying "no" when my heart desired to say "yes." Realistically, you only have right now. All you have is this moment. It's your moment to seize or your moment to let pass by, but you cannot save this moment. You are not guaranteed tomorrow, not even tonight. We are fleeting, here now but soon to be gone.
So go. Go run in the rain and as your body becomes drenched let your soul be awakened with the passion and life that comes only from being fully aroused in your senses. Go travel the world or your community or wherever the hell you want to go and allow yourself to explore your new surrounding and feel open to the glory of new experience. Go be free.
Go live. Do not hold yourself back but rather propel yourself forward into random adventures. Let your soul breathe new life from the world around you and let yourself live fully and completely. Let yourself forget about responsibilities for a moment and let yourself be present to the glorious world in which we live. Embrace the beauty of the sunset and the stickiness of the humid air. Let your body run on the exhilaration of adventure instead of on chemicals we use to convince ourselves we are alive.
I am dying to live a life full of adventure and splendor. I am dying to let my soul be free and wander to new heights. I am dying to live in the exhilaration of every moment without restraint. I crave to lay on the docks in the pouring rain, letting myself absorb each drop as it falls from the sky. I desire to walk for miles on end, feeling the exhaustion crawl up my legs but continuing on as I explore new territory, feeling my muscles burn with the excitement of the unknown. I am dying to leave the glass box in which I am seemingly confined and go to those places I have yet to touch. I am dying to live, dying to let my soul be free. Let me go.
