Friendship is described as a mutual respect and intimate bond shared between two people. Meaning that both people are putting in equal effort to keep the "bond" strong. It doesn't mean that only one person puts in all of the work while the other does nothing except ignore them and complain that they aren't close anymore. I'm specifically writing this article to you: the friend that does nothing but think of themselves and complain. You want to know why you aren't close anymore? Because your friend that's actually trying got sick of getting nothing from you in return.
How do you know which friend you are? Well, I'm glad you asked. Here are a few telling signs:
Do you always text them first? Are you the only one ever asking to spend time together? Do you feel like you're the only one putting work into the friendship? Do you feel like you go above and beyond for them, but rarely get anything in return? If so, you're the friend that's actually trying. Do you forget to respond to their text and/or never respond at all? Do you expect them to be checking in on you, but never do so in return? Are you always busy when they ask to hang out, but never offer a better time? Do you constantly complain that the two of you are drifting apart, but never do anything to fix the problem? Do you blame the friendship fading on your friend's significant other, job or other friends (i.e. anything but you)? If so, you're the friend that's sabotaging the friendship.
If you don't want to be friends anymore, just tell the person. It's honestly that simple. If you want to be friends, then do something about it. But sorry, you can't have both. You don't get to want the friendship to stay the same, but put in zero effort. No matter how nice the other friend is, they're going to eventually get sick of being the only one that's trying. They're going to notice you don't care, and understandably they're going to give up on you. If you're guilty of doing the sabotaging, notice that this is happening to one of your friendships and don't want the friendship to be done, then you have to do something about it.
A quick text, a five minute phone call or even a Facebook message saying you're thinking of them and asking when they're free will help more than you think. It might seem trivial, like your friend's being sensitive or that you're really busy, but they aren't and I promise that you have enough time in your day to text them. You get on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter 100 times daily, so if something's important to you then you'll find time, right? Right.
If the point of this article wasn't clear enough, let me reiterate. Friendship is a two-way street, so if you care at all then it's time for you to start putting the work in. But if you don't, then don't be surprised when your "friend" walks out of your life for good.
