This past year I've been pushed around by many people in my life. Whether it was them making decisions for me, telling me what I can or cannot do, or simply not caring how I felt. Whether these people did it intentionally or unintentionally, it still happened. I started to feel like I was worthless, and I felt that people would only like me if I did what they wanted. But I'm here to say I'm done. I'm ready to say "No" when I want to. I'm ready to no longer be victimized by other peoples internal problems. I'm ready to use my backbone and to step out of certain groups that always made me feel less than who I am. And most importantly, I'm ready to appreciate my self worth.
So, what's it like to be a pushover you may ask? Well, people easily take advantage of you. Actually, they do it a lot. But you let them. You let them push you around, you do what they want, even if you don't exactly want to yourself. But, it makes them happy and pleases them, so what's the problem?
The problem is that you're not happy.
Being a pushover makes it hard to make your own decisions. It's almost as if you're constantly following rules, every second of every day. Your usual responses are "It's up to you!", "Anything you want." or "I don't care.", but you do care. You really do. But what if someone found out that you cared? That would be the end of the world, right?
Not at all.
You tend to take a lot of things personally. You are constantly worrying about what people say about you and what they think about you. You over-analyze every action towards you, worrying if you're doing anything wrong. You're sensitive and you simply want everyone to be at peace and to be happy. It's literally draining.
Over time, you begin to forget who you actually are because you've been manipulated so many times by others. You begin to act differently because that's how those around you act. You begin to do things you wouldn't do in a million years, because thats what the people around you are doing. Sometimes, "going with the flow" isn't the best decision.
But, being a pushover can mean that you're well-liked, or that they make you think you are. Everyone knows they can get their way with you and that you won't put up a fight. You're the easy friend, the one they go to when they need something or want to be in control. Sounds horrible for you though, right? It's hard to stick up for yourself cause if you do, you're afraid you'll lose a friend or two.
Wake up call; Lose the friend and start sticking up for yourself.
Be bold. Be the leader. Do what makes YOU happy. Stop living by the rules of others and start living the life you want to live. Let your light shine. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it. Remember, your judgement and opinions are just important as everyone else's.
