I have been a cat owner for many years. I have had every kind of cat: loud, quiet, crazy, calm, etc. But, they all have one thing in common: deep down inside, they are still a**hole cats, and I love them. I have also realized that we have more in common than I would have ever thought possible. In fact, according to my studies, I am basically a cat. So here are the things cats and I have in common:

1. A mighty need for attention.

There are certain times where we will go to any length to get attention. Lying on your stomach? Sure. Repeatedly whining? You bet. Jumping and "accidentally" knocking stuff over? It can happen.

2. No. Not that much attention.

Okay. We got our attention. Leave us alone. Seriously. Stop. Stop.

3. Excessive napping.

There is no limit to our sleepiness. We can sleep anywhere, at pretty much any time. We would sleep all day if we could...except when it is time to eat or when it is late at night and we need attention, like right when you're about to go to sleep after a long day.

4. A need for great amounts of food at all times.

There's no food in front of us? We are going to die, and we will whine the whole time so you know exactly what you did. We'll even convince you that we haven't eaten, even if we just ate.

5. Fear of vacuums.

While cats fear hearing them, I fear having to use them.

6. Response to new people.

We either fear new people and run away from them, or we ignore the people that we are familiar with to love the new people until the new people don't feed us. There is no in between.

Attention seeking, napping, eating...Really, who isn't a cat, and who doesn't want to be one?