I love my dad to pieces. I am 100 percent daddy's little girl and he's my go-to for guy advice. He was once a young bachelor — he knows what's it like. I'm all ears when he wants to give guidance, but, thankfully, he was never invasive. I am comfortable to come and open up to him because of the environment that he and my mom have provided.
Bringing my dad to the gynecologist is one thing, but for him to judge me for my sexual habits is another.
On the other hand, rapper T.I. admitted that he goes to the gynecologist with his daughter to, get this, check if her freaking hymen is still intact.
I'm fuming. That's abuse. Period.
It's the 21rst century, using a tampon can break your hymen. In middle school, my best friend and I freaked out because we thought that using a tampon would mean we would lose our virginities. I didn't want my first time to be at the hands of a tampon. But, obviously, that's not how that works. So many different athletic activities can break your hymen. It's just a thin layer that forms part of the external genitalia.
T.I. also made comments about his daughter's virginity and how he likes it because boys will stay away: "They're no fun. Who wants a virgin?"
I am not going to stand for misogyny. And, I’m not going to stand for sex being put in a bad light. I understand that parents want to protect their children. Of course, they do, but positive, less intrusive ways of doing so will make more of an impact. I'm not a parent but as someone's kid, this method works better on me. Instead of violating your child's individualism, teach them about healthy relationships, safe sex, confidence, and consent.
I don't know who T.I. is. I don't know who his daughter is. But I do have advice for her:
Stand up for yourself. If you don't want to have sex, fine, but don't let anyone — even your dad — make decisions about your body.
Staying a virgin for as long as possible is not an award. It's a personal decision and doesn't make one person better or less than another. Forget purity. Forget sluttiness. Just do you, stay safe, and be confident in that. Whether it's penetrative sex, oral sex, or phone sex, you make that decision.
Important to note is that his son isn't a virgin. Um, double standard much?
It wasn't easy telling my dad I'm no longer a virgin. I actually didn't tell him right away, but it was my decision to when I felt prepared to give the news (and when I thought he would be ready).
I know that he is proud of me any way I am and there is nothing more special than that.