I'm not going to lie, I respect stay at home mom's but honestly when I read something about how a working mom has it easy because they can take days off, blah, blah, blah, that really aggravates me. Like dude, I get that you stay at home all day and whatnot but I do your job plus work too. Oh yeah and the days where my baby cries because she misses mom during the day, well that is heart wrenching. Some of us can't stay home from work...so when you throw ignorant "I am a better Mom because I devote my life to my kids, working Mom's are bad Mom's because they only care about themselves" not only is it hurtful to those of us who HAVE to work, but it is also Mom shaming. There is enough of that going on in this world.

I have recently watched the movie Bad Mom's which honestly I cried over and HIGHLY recommend everyone to take a peek at it if you are a mom, everyone has something they can relate to. According to Rebecca Keegan (who by they way writes an excellent review of the movie I recommend reading), "The film shows a range of mom types, and stars, as its six leads are actresses who are all mothers themselves — Kunis, who plays a fed-up working mom; Bell, an underappreciated stay-at-home mom; Hahn, a free-spirited single mom; Applegate, an overcompensating perfect mom; Jada Smith, a judgy mom; and Annie Mumolo, a clueless mom." But the character Kunis plays, Amy, has a speech about how if you are not a perfect Mom and introduced this topic of Mom shaming, that really hit close to home. For years, I have compared myself to media moms on screen. If they are not portrayed as the sacrificing hero they are often portrayed as villains. Which brings me back to the topic, why is it that we portray stay-at-home-moms as being heroes and working Moms as villains? It is plain and simple, it is Mom shaming.

I am the bread winner at my house, I have to keep a roof over our head and keep that sucker clean. In addition to my traditional mom role I also worry about the finances and how I will I ever be able to afford all the things that my kids will want...so I have to make myself more valuable in my career while building self-esteem and good morals into my children. I cook, clean, plan, event planner, hairdresser, personal stylist, driver, teacher, an employer (because I pay my daughter to help me clean) and hold yet another full-time job. I juggle many different roles in my life and honestly, I have a great kid and help from my mom who is a STAY AT HOME MOM. I understand the benefits of having a parent at home full-time, however, the issue is that I cannot stay home with my daughter because I AM THE BREAD WINNER. In my shoes can be overwhelming at times honestly, it causes me panic attacks in the middle of the night and causes me to cry on my way home from work. Why does it stress me out so much? Well, the truth is I just want to be a "Good Mom" not a "Bad Mom", when I see social media where everyone is talking about how awesome it is to be a stay-at-home-mom it really just hits a nerve like, am I doing the right thing?

Am I though? Am I doing a good job at the most important role I have? Since I am technically a single mom (I have a Boyfriend who is wonderful but I still "think" like a single mom) who can I trust to validate I am doing a good job, who is in my corner at the end of the day to help guide me and counsel me to be the best parent I can be? Sometimes, it is so unclear I feel like I am just wading around in a bowl of jello. I say jello because it shakes and vibrates if one thing hits it and honestly when life hits me, well I feel all over the place like a bowl of jello. Here I am again, in my car crying because I think I am screwing up. I am not perfect, but I try my best. Isn't that what parenting is all about?

The stigmas attached to being a working mom make it overwhelming to even think that you are doing even an adequate job. Here are some stigmas that are associated with being a working mom, they don’t/can’t pay enough attention to their families, they are unreliable, they only work because they do not want to deal with household chores, because they want to avoid taking care of their children, they work to make a point, their children resent them for working, my personal favorite is that we look down at stay-at-home-moms or that we cannot excel at being a mother while having a career. All of these stigmas are very real things that working mothers deal with on a DAILY basis. WHY DO YOU THINK MANY OF US SCREAM/CRY IN THE CAR?

So when you stay-at-home-moms, who are a legion of online Facebook-aholics start, "I am a great person because I am a better mom" tweets/posts think about who you are shaming when you post things. Just think about who is on your friend list that while you are sitting at the table for lunch at noon with your three-year-old typing how much better your child is because you are at home...we are at work doing what is best for our family. So stop with the Mom shaming. It is one thing to be proud of the job you have, it is entirely different to put down someone else's. We are a diverse country and it should be nor different in our parenting styles. It is all about respect, let's all learn to respect one another ladies because we already have a glass ceiling working against us, only together can we break that ceiling and create a more equalized society where women are actually treated equally. Are you going to respect the feelings of your sisters or will you continue this society of Mom Shammers?