I hate to admit it, but I was a spoiled brat when I was growing up. My mom pretty much let me do what I wanted (within reason of course) and my grandma gave me just about anything I asked for. I never had to work in high school because I was babysitting for my mom and once I got to college, I was just told to focus on school. Heck, my mom even paid my first speeding ticket for me.
After that year, my mom's financial situation changed, I was expected to pay for college and extracurriculars on my own (insert student loans here). I still had it pretty good though, I always had food and gas, if for some reason I were running short my grandma would swoop in with that external transfer from her account to mine.
The biggest changes came after my mom got remarried; it was then that she decided that I needed my own phone plan. Even bigger changes came once I approached my college graduation. That week I totaled my car (RIP Black Betty). Up until that time my car payment, insurance and maintenance was all paid for by, you guessed it, my wonderful grandmother. Once my car bit the dust, she suggested that I should use the insurance money to buy my own car and insurance. Cue panic mode. Needless to say, I learned a lot about life (and myself) in a very short amount of time.
1. I actually didn't know everything
I used to think that I was so mature and knew so much. I attributed that to babysitting my siblings while growing up. I thought that made me grow up a lot faster than my peers, I was wrong...way wrong. Finances were a foreign concept to me; balancing work, fun, and responsibility became all too overwhelming. It put a strain on my emotions and my relationship. The day that I admitted to myself that I did't know it all was the day that everything seemed to start making sense.
2. Needs vs. Wants
Sure, I was still young and I wanted to go out to eat multiple times a week and buy a new wardrobe, but what I needed to do was pay rent and make sure I had a reliable way to get myself to my minimum wage job. There were several times that I ate Ramen noodles for dinner and even a few times that I had to make 50 cents stretch three days until payday, but I learned financial discipline and what was really important. Poor is only a state of mind, my friends.
3. The importance of independence
I have always been, and will forever be, a "momma's girl", when it all starts to get a bit too crazy the first person I call is my mom. I have learned over time that not every problem needs a consultation from Cath, google is a beautiful tool believe it or not. By not using my mom to solve every problem I have actually learned quite a bit, from ways to remove stains with very basic household items, how to lower my bill payments and how to use substitute ingredients when cooking.
4. Home takes on a new meaning
My family and I have always been close, but as I grow older the visits home have become shorter and far less frequent. I used to be "home" for weeks at a time during the summer and over holidays. Now the place that my parents live is no longer home to me. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my family, but that house is not my home. My home is a 2 bedroom apartment with a $20 Craigslist find couch, a lab mix waiting for me, and a man that loves me and drives me insane at the same time.
5. How I want my kids to grow up
I don't want my future children to suffer the same fate that I did. Of course I want them to have fun, but they should also have to work for what they want. Cell Phone? Work for it. Car? Work for it. Handing your children everything on a silver platter like I was does nothing but set them up for stress in the future.
Kicking me out of the nest may have been the best thing my family did for me. Granted, it may have happened a little late in the game and it may have taken me years to see how beneficial it was, but I am a stronger and more responsible person because of it.
