An Open Letter To The Chipotle Order That Stole My Heart
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An Open Letter To The Chipotle Order That Stole My Heart

A parody.

An Open Letter To The Chipotle Order That Stole My Heart
BuzzFeed, Ryan Kincaid

Dear black beans-fajita mix-half sofritas-half guac-green tomatillo salsa-and lettuce-burrito bowl-to go,

We've been through so much together.

You're 365 calories, six Weight Watchers smart points, six ingredients, and 10 minutes of Americanized Mexican bliss. ♫ When the moon hits your soul like a good burrito bowl, that's amore ♫. Yeah, yeah, that's Italian. But so am I -- our backgrounds are as diverse as the sum of your ingredients.

I know, I know. I've eaten other Chipotle orders before. When we met I felt connected to burritos with all the fixin’s. Suddenly, a change of diet led me to you. I said “adios” to the creams and meats. I’m a simple girl. Your simplicity and gentleness has led to a cacophony of Mexican-inspired spices; a trip to Flavortown only Guy Fieri himself would understand; a polyamorous adventure of deliciousness.

You've taught me everything you know. Some of my favorites include: what the hell a tomatillo even is, how to be palatable around everyone, and that I too deserve a loving burrito that loves me no matter what dietary restrictions I have. Ah, I remember the day the line cook -- our love’s liaison -- introduced sofritas to us. I felt out of place at Chipotle when I became a vegetarian. But you -- yes, you! -- displayed your compassion for me. You didn't want to let go. You knew we had something special.

Every relationship has turbulence. My heart sank the day we were forced to part ways after the unfortunate E. Coli outbreak. You were sick. I waited every day for you to come back. Like Noah in “The Notebook,” I wrote you letters and tweets. I wanted all of you. Forever. You and me. Every day. "If you're a burrito, I'm a burrito," I penned to you. That chilly April day when we rekindled alone in my office, you told me you loved me. I was too afraid to say it back; I cheated on you with Taco Bell veggie cantina bowls. I was ashamed. But you gave me your love anyway.

I love you, black beans-fajita mix-half sofritas-half guac-green tomatillo salsa-and lettuce-burrito bowl-to go. No amount of sour cream splurges, or margarita Monday's at the local Mexican restaurant, or Taco Bell cheesy fiesta potatoes can build a bridge between our love. Even if we hardly see each other (sometimes rent comes before you, sweetie), you're still always No. 1 in my heart. Thank you for the guacamole kisses and tingly, chili spiced feelings and warm, flavorful welcomes back to the building on the corner of Grace and Laurel where we fell in love.

Until we meet again.

~ Sidney
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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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