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Politics

If Politicians Were Harry Potter Characters

Expecto-politics.

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If Politicians Were Harry Potter Characters
Grace Gagnon

Recently, I had an "aha" moment when I realized how similar Donald Trump is to Lord Voldemort. The more I went through their characteristics, the more alike they seemed. But then, I had another "aha" moment and realized how many of our politicians are identical to the wizards of Harry Potter. It's almost as though they shaped American politics around J.K Rowling's famous series. I wouldn't be surprised if they did!

Here are my comparisons:

1. Bernie Sanders: Albus Dumbledore

Who else would be the wise, fragile, but genius wizard everyone admires? The only thing Bernie is missing is the long white beard. With his inviting smile and demeanor, Dumbledore is Sander's doppelgänger. Like Dumbledore, Bernie was brought down by his nemesis. Dumbledore was killed by the dark forces of Lord Voldemort, as was Bernie's campaign by the forces of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. However, like a true heroine, Sanders is doing everything he can from afar, as Dumbledore did for Harry Potter.

2.Donald Trump: Lord Voldemort

Powerful. Narcissistic. Evil. Selfish. Dark. Beady eyes. Scary to look at. All these words describe both Voldemort and Donald Trump... Lord Voldemort is known as "he who shall not be named" because just saying his name brings him evil glory. We should refer to Trump as "he who shall not be named" because he truly believes bad press is good press. By speaking about Trump, even negatively, we are fueling his campaign to end the world, and the greatness of America. Voldemort did have his army behind him, but a very weak one...and the defeat Voldemort faces in the end should foreshadow what will happen to Trump and his supporters.

3. President Obama: Severus Snape

Like Snape, Obama is the one we all love to hate, but low key he is the real MVP. More often than not, I hear people putting America's failures at the fault of Obama, when really he is doing everything he can to make America the best country it can be. Similarly, Snape is disguised as a villain, but everyone soon realizes that his evil nature was just a facade and he was using it to save Hogwarts and Harry Potter. Everyone realized the good in Snape when it was too late, which is exactly what will happen to Obama. Just when the next President is about to be inaugurated, everyone will soon realize the great lengths Obama went to.

4. Hillary Clinton: Dolores Umbridge

Clinton and Umbridge's resemblance is freaky and almost too real. With their perfectly primped short hairstyles and pink suits, you would almost be fooled that these two ladies aren't people to worry about. But, those pink frills mask the manipulative b***h underneath. I wouldn't be surprised if Hillary Clinton plans on decorating the Oval Office with pink walls and meowing clocks. Oh, and Bill Clinton, don't even think about having another affair...unless you want to be forced to write lines with the Black Quill.

5. Michelle Obama: Hermoine Granger

Brave, strong, smart and beautiful...yup that's Michelle Obama! Like Hermoine, Michelle Obama is an eloquent speaker whose knowledge can save the world. If you underestimate her, you will be sorry and most definitely eating your words.

6. Jill Stein: Professor McGonagall

Like Professor McGonagall, Jill Stein uses her power for good. Stein may not be a wizard, but her knowledge on tackling America's issues are enough to promote her to wizard status. Her students were not always trusting of her, and feared her punishments...but later realized how much she genuinely cared about the wellbeing of others. Like McGonagall, the voters aren't always trustworthy of a 3rd party candidate.

7. Chris Christie: Draco Malfoy

Christie is one of Trump's greatest defender's, similar to how Draco defended and worked for Voldemort. Draco is known for picking on the good guys, like Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. He uses foul language and immature comments to impress his posse. Christie does the same thing! He makes outlandish comments about Obama and his legislation, only to make an impression on his Republican followers. However, Christie isn't powerful enough to stand up on his own, which is why he didn't make it to the election. Trump is his puppeteer, like Voldemort is to Draco. In the end, Draco got screwed over and so did Christie when Trump didn't pick him as his running mate. OUCH.

8. Carly Fiorina: Bellatrix Lestrange

Fiorina may not be evil like Lestrange, but both of these women are shattering glass ceilings. Fiorina is on the same team as Cruz and Lestrange works closely with Lucius Malfoy...maybe Fiorina is on the dark side?

9. Gary Johnson: Neville Longbottom

Gary Johnson, Neville Longbottom...both are underdogs, but should be on the radar. Sure Neville Longbottom was nerdy and not very suave, but his heroic act of killing the last holcrux was quite honorable. Sure Gary Johnson isn't someone high in the media like Clinton or Trump, but maybe he'll come swooping in to save us in the end like Neville did. *hopefully*

10. Ted Cruz: Lucius Malfoy

He knows how to talk his way out of any situation, which makes him pure evil and totally untrustworthy. Cruz's answer to illegal immigration is scary and he's treating immigrants as aliens. Lucius treated Dobby the same way Cruz is treating illegal immigration...with no respect or regard for human life (even though Dobby is not a human he still has a heart).

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