For those of you who are reading the title of this article, please understand I am not trying to make myself seem unfriendly. I am not saying that I don't want to make any more friends. However, I will be perfectly okay if I don't. My grandma always used to tell us, you can count on one hand how many real friends you'll get in a lifetime; if you get one, you're blessed. She instilled that in her children and grandchildren at a young age, but I didn't understand until I got older and life happened to me.
Throughout your life you'll have many "friends" who will come and go, but through it all, your family is still there by your side. This is partially the reason why I keep my inner circle fairly small. It's less drama and you know the people surrounding you are real. The biggest mistake you can make is thinking that you have a bunch of friends. I used to think that my grandma was crazy for thinking you can't have a lot of friends. Well, she was spot on. Things happen, and you realize that everyone isn't on your side, and everyone isn't as real of a friend as they claim to be.
In college especially, you find out who your real friends are. One of the biggest lessons I've learned while away at school is learning to take people at face value. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Over the years, I've experienced many changes in friendships, yet my family has always remained the constant in my life. My family—mainly my brother and cousins—have set the friendship bar so high that I would be completely okay if I never made anymore friends. I'm blessed enough that some of my closest friends just so happen to be family.
In today's society, people think it's strange that you love going out with your family or that you don't have to be forced to spend time with them. In all honesty, I prefer hanging out with my family. There's nothing more comforting than being surrounded by people you can be your 100 percent authentic self with. There's no pretense and there's no putting on a front. You can just be you. Growing up in a close-knit family also teaches you many important life lessons that every person needs to learn. It actually low-key ruins your life forever, because they've set the bar so high that no one will be able to compare.
My family has shaped me into the person I am today, and I am thankful that I've learned lots of important lessons from them.
1. In any relationship you may have, if you can't be your real self, then they're not worth your time.
Like I said above, it's comforting knowing you have people you can be real with. If you can't be your true self in whatever relationship you're in (romantic or platonic), then those aren't the kind of people you should want in your life.
2. Speak up.
Not only is my family close-knit, but there's also a lot of us. And I mean a lot of us. Growing up in this type of environment helps you find your voice. You learn how to speak up in front of large groups of people with confidence. You learn how to clearly convey your emotions when you're happy, or sad, or even feeling excluded.
3. The men in my family have shown me that I want to be single for the rest of my life. Kind of.
From the blunt conversations about life to the no-filtered locker room talk, my brother and many other males in my family have shown me that the best thing I can do is focus on myself during my 20s and wait until I'm pushing 30 to settle down. By that point, men should have caught up to the maturity level of women (hopefully). At the same time, they've also shown me how women deserve to be treated, and that alone gives me the incentive to hold out on settling down until it's with the right person.
4. You can have it all.
One of the best things about being so close-knit is the overwhelming amount of support and love you get. We're constantly reminded that we serve a big God, so no dream is ever too big. Seeing my older cousins graduate college, have successful careers, get married, and start families has made me see that it's possible to have it all. You just have to be willing to work hard.
5. The most important relationship you'll ever have is the one you have with God.
I am very blessed to come from a family that is deeply rooted in faith. Having that solid foundation has made all the difference in my life. Not only do I hear them say they're Christians, but I also get to see them live like Christians. When you see a world that is filled with so much hypocrisy and hate, it's nice being surrounded by people who actually practice what they preach.
Is this saying that you won't get sick of your family? Absolutely not. Is this saying that you all won't get into petty arguments with each other? Definitely not. You're going to go through ups and downs just like you'd experience in any friendships, but no matter the fight or the words exchanged, they're still your family. I have three great friends from high school that are still some of my best friends to this day, but I am extremely blessed to have the family that I do. No matter what may happen or how things may change, my family will always remain the same.
