Remember when social media was just MySpace and AIM? Your MySpace background showed your clear love for Jesse McCartney and your AIM statuses gave minute-to-minute updates of your scandalous pre-teen life. And pictures were only edited to add hearts or “BFF” stickers to them.
But social media has evolved and we’re not liars really. We just edit the truth a little. We post pictures only after they've been edited and after we have thought of all possible witty captions. Don't get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing. There’s no social media shaming here. We all just love a good Insta. The little lies might even be necessary, because who knows if your innocent followers could handle the truth: That your candids are... fake. (Gasps).
1. The Posed Candid.
If my caption was honest: Nothing was funny. Did my laughter fool you into thinking I was laughing? Oh, how silly of you. Scratch that. in the end we laughed at how awkward fake laughing is while people laughed at us for fake laughing. Ah, memories.
2. The Wow I'm So Artsy and Worldly.
If my caption was honest: The woman behind me proceeded to “accidentally” kick my chair for three hours, but look at this peaceful, pretty sunset. Ooooh ahhhh. #artsy
3. The Perfectly Timed Candid.
If my caption was honest: Okay, so I picked her up and placed her at the far end of this walkway so she would run towards the camera for the picture. Ten times. Yes, i used a baby as a wind up toy for the Insta. But she loved it so you can stop judging me. #candid #ImNotARegularAunt #ImACoolAunt.
4. The I'm Educated and Read For Fun.
If my caption was honest: This was taken about a month ago but I got an odd urge to post a picture so if anyone asks I took this today. P.S. I’m still reading this book. Not because it is bad but because I spend my free time watching Bob’s Burgers or old Disney Channel movies like the grown person I am. #ImAnAdult #Sophisticated
5. The Looking Into The Distance.
If my caption was honest: Spoiler alert, I’m not looking at anything. The view is next to me. This is also strategically cropped to edit out the gut I formed from all of the food I ate today. #NoRagrets #Views.
6. The I'm In A Sorority, Look at My Little(s).
If my caption was honest: I'm not going to lie to you, I don't know these two girls. I bought them a lot of gifts this week though so I have the highest of hopes that we will become best friends but as of right now I'm taking a ton of pictures with two strangers. (Editor's note: We did become best friends.)
7. The Shameless Selfie.
If my caption was honest: Go ahead and judge me for this post but I haven't worn makeup or normal clothes or even brushed my hair in the past two weeks. So, yeah, I'm feeling myself and I want you all to see this monumental moment because it's like a solar eclipse: It might happen one more time this year but then that's it.
8. The Staged Food Photo.
If my caption was honest: Have you ever seen those clips on the discovery channel? You know the ones of the wild animals eating another animal like they've never eaten before? That's how I ate this. Ice cream flew, stains were made. If someone timed me I might have beaten a world record. Yeah, I'm a classy date. #Yum #wifey.
9. The Disney World Picture.
If my caption was honest: Mickey ears really hurt. Does everyone think they hurt and just suffers for the ambiance and the pictures? Because I have a headache and the kid next to me who is crying has them on too. Coincidence? I think not. #HappiestPlaceOnEarth.
10. The I'm Super Healthy. I Wonder What Carbs Even Taste Like.
If my caption was honest: It was good until the strange, healthy stuff at the bottom of the bowl. It was also $8 and I got hungry 10 minutes later. I got fries on my way home. #healthiswealth.
