Identifying and dealing with this f**kboy phenomena

Is that guy you've been hung up on sparsely messaging you? Is he incognito for days, maybe even weeks at a time, and then messaging you sweet words to make up for the time? Well, honey, he's probably a f**kboy. It's hard believing such a sweet, misunderstood, cute guy could be, but as it is, he's been disrespecting you and treating you pretty crappy tbh.

Now, let's say a guy you've met on Tinder is really cool and dope to talk to at first, everything's going great, and then out of seemingly nowhere he acts uninterested. Your daily messages are limited to two or three responses and no longer does he sound as patient, kind, or funny. Then, after a few days of this sparse communication, he completely stops texting you! How rude! This, my friend, is what we millennials call "ghosting." But he's not an a**hole! Sure, sure, whatever you say... did he message you today? This week? Was it with his usual amount of banter and sweetness? Hmm? Ok, then.

Don't be in denial, it makes the entire situation worse. It sucks, trust me, I know, but why give him the time of day and the luxury of being in every one of your waking thoughts when he obviously can't even be bothered to shoot you a quick 'hey been busy!' text? He doesn't deserve you or your time or energy. And let's be honest, there is a guy with a nicer face and taller waiting to swoop in and make you his princess. Now, this is not to say play his game, fire cannot fight with fire. However, be the adult and let him know that you have enjoyed getting to know him and make sure the extent of your 'relationship' is spelled out, bolded, and highlighted. Let him know who's in charge, otherwise you'll be giving him unnecessary power over you. The only person who should have power over you is you. Why let him ruin you for someone who deserves all you have and more? Plus, not having to take others' sensibilities and feelings into account is soooo much easier and less worrisome. Now, go put on Pour it Up by Rihanna and buy yourself a lacy lingerie set and a bottle of wine.

For our next scenario, your guy messages you infrequently and, most times, sexually. You won't hear from him for days at a time and then suddenly he's talking about some 'wyd' or 'we should hangout soon.' You didn't hear from him all that time and now he wants to sweet talk you into doing what he wants? Nah, you got yourself a bencher. He knows he can reel you in and throw you back out at any point, and more likely than not he's doing it to several other girls. Girl! Don't let him disrespect and use you like that! By letting him continue manipulating you, you're mistreating yourself and disrespecting your self-worth.

You is kind, you is smart, and you is important. Now act like it! Get your head out your bum before it's too late and you're heartbroken, laying in the fetal position and crying your eyes out! There are guys out there who would bend over backwards trying to get your attention, don't underestimate yourself to the point you're keeping this fool in your contacts. It sucks knowing that yet another guy is proving to be not worth much more than a deleted contact and pint of Ben & Jerry's half baked. Just because this one is a bad egg, there are still good ones out there, you just have to be patient...or buy a puppy...puppies are better, just get a puppy.

Both of these guys are f**kboys, the types of guys we warn our best friends about and hope our daughters, nieces, cousins, and sisters will never encounter. Although breaking all their car windows and keying their tires sound like a good idea, it's not, it's illegal and there's no wine in prison. Instead, be a bad b**ch and kill them with kindness. Nothing makes guys more confused or regretful than when you mess with their mind and be that carefree, beautiful butterfly you are! *Queue Adele's Send My Love to Your New Lover*

Now go and be free butterfly and conquer the world like the boss you are! And don't forget the wine!

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