In dealing with heartbreak and tragedy, you certainly learn a thing or two, about yourself, about others, and about life. In the wake of your own experience, it's hard not to get caught up in your own sadness; it's easy to forget people in the world around you too are dealing with their own hardships. Although our tragedies and our grief are unique, no one is exempt from it.

I have allowed myself to become consumed by my grief, to become isolated. I felt my pain to be so strong that surely it would never fade. Yet it does. As cliche as it is, time does heal. And while I had support from those around me, there comes a time when You need to fix yourself. You need to get yourself out of bed. You need to accept what has happened, and take the steps forward. In realizing this, I was able to heal. I did not want to play the victim card, because I am so much more than what happened to me. I refuse to be defined by tragedy, I refuse to live in a cloak of sadness. And although I will always carry this experience around with me, it has a place it belongs, and it does not need to consume my entire being. At some point, if you are not moving forward, you are simply perpetuating the problem. If you aren't helping yourself, chances are people are going to stop wanting to help you. You can only be "not okay" for so long.

I made my fair share of bad choices while I was grieving, but bad behavior was only a bandaid, and once I ripped off that bandaid, I was in more pain than before. Perhaps this behavior is excusable when people know you are struggling, but after a while they lose their respect for you. I certainly lost my way for a while. One day though, I realized that waking up, and having a good day was so much easier than getting stuck in sadness. Although some days are harder than others, being positive is always so much better than being negative. Finding my strength and persevering has been the best decision I have ever made. I'm moving onward, I'm getting better. I have goals for myself. I would rather people respect me for being strong and overcoming my struggles than pity me for being unstable. I'd rather be making people proud. I don't want people to walk on eggshells around me wondering when I was going to fall apart again. I didn't want to be the girl that was a loose cannon. I didn't want to be the girl who missed out on the life ahead of her. It's okay to be sad, but it's not okay to throw your life away. Be the girl who found her strength. Be the girl that ended up okay. Be the girl whose positivity radiates. Be the girl who saved herself.