I was raised Catholic. I've been baptized, had my communion and my confirmation. I attended CCDC (which is essentially a class once a week for the course of the school year) that teaches you about the religion and the Bible. I attended church weekly with my family, and throughout the course of my life have definitely learned a lot about Catholicism.
However, I will not have a Catholic wedding.
As I've gotten older and attended more Catholic weddings than I can count, the more I'm turned off by them. My fiancé never went to church, and though he too believes in something after this life, I—in no way, shape, or form—want to make our wedding day something I grew up with and something be didn't. This day is about both of us and our love, and it would feel really selfish to not have a combination of BOTH of the things we were passionate about there.
I'm passionate about God and what's to come after I die, but I'm not passionate about the hypocritical rules and some of the messages delivered to us from the Bible.
Even if my fiancé and I wanted to get married in a Catholic church, because he wasn't raised Catholic, we wouldn't be able to unless he took classes.
So a church that accepts everyone and preaches about loving thy neighbor because it's what God would want, won't accept two people who LOVE one another because we don't have the same religion?
The Catholic Church won't even marry a gay couple, so tell me who is the one who should be preaching about loving thy neighbor?
Going to these weddings and hearing one of the priests say how love is never mean, love is always kind. It partly made me angry. They stand up there and preach about marriage and what it should or shouldn't be, while love is actually quite the opposite.
It can be mean.
Sometimes we hurt people close to us as an attempt to push them away or test their loyalty. We have days where being mean is all we can think to do because mentally we are in such a f*cked up state of mind. We take things out on one another that we shouldn't, and when things get hard, "for better or for worse" is the last damn thing we're thinking about. Love will get freaking hard and while I'm marrying the guy I love, I want to be reminded of that—not some corny, naive, bullshit that's forced on us from the time we're young. I want to be prepared for the bad times with an actual, realistic way to handle it, rather than what a priest feels is best for me to do.
Meanwhile, half the Catholic priests we've made confessions to, the priest that married my parents, and hundreds, hell, THOUSANDS of others have sexually assaulted young boys.
I'm at the age where both my fiancé and I are old enough and informed enough to make a decision we both feel in our heart is right. Getting married in a Catholic Church isn't one of them.
The Bible tells us to love everyone... but not if they're the same sex
The Bible tells us to treat others as you would want to be treated... but not if they have tattoos.
The Bible tells us to love ourselves and our bodies... but tells us we are sinners if we make a choice FOR our own body.
I'm not going to let the Bible dictate what kind of person I am, or where I'll go after death, or who I should or shouldn't be. Especially when the ones preaching about having sex before marriage, or loving the same sex-are doing wrong for our future generations by molesting them. (No, not all priests do this, and it's unfair to link them together as a whole, but it's unfair to judge what others practice as well, and let's be honest the Bible and Catholicism does this).
So no, I won't get married in a Catholic Church. And yes, I believe this is one of the best decisions I've ever made. On the day I say I do, I know there will be no ill feelings coming from my fiancé or myself, just love-and eventually a little attitude, but that's to be expected because love is far from perfect.
I think there will be a lot of people who will have something to say, but those people can choose to sit at a church on my wedding day and pray for my sins, while I marry my fiancé elsewhere and pray for theirs.
As long as I have the people close to me, my fiancé, and God above, I think I'm pretty good.
