I miss who I thought you were
I miss the younger version of you I idealized and wanted to befriend and protect
I miss who I thought you were going to be in the future
I miss how you believed in me
I miss how whenever I needed reassurance you gave it to me
I miss how whenever I wanted to talk about that thing we both like
You were my go-to
I don't miss the long periods- weeks, months, wondering if you were still my friend
Days when my texts went unopened and
I was convinced I did something to make you mad at me
I don't miss how you claimed to value me
yet never really made time or room for me in your life
I don't miss how you claimed you were proud of me
yet I always posted about you and never the opposite
I don't miss always being sad about the same things
Always being mad about the same things
The same things never changing
Because you never change
I just wished you did
Then hoped you would
Then knew you wouldn't
And that's not my fault
I'm not the first in a long line of people
Who you hurt and wished you'd change
I wished you'd change
The person I thought you were never existed
I made you up because
Maybe deep down I knew that who you were wasn't enough for me
I was holding out for the day when
you would finally come to your senses and treat me right.
That day never came
But I don't miss you now that's for sure