I miss who I thought you were

I miss the younger version of you I idealized and wanted to befriend and protect

I miss who I thought you were going to be in the future

I miss how you believed in me

I miss how whenever I needed reassurance you gave it to me

I miss how whenever I wanted to talk about that thing we both like

You were my go-to

I don't miss the long periods- weeks, months, wondering if you were still my friend

Days when my texts went unopened and

I was convinced I did something to make you mad at me

I don't miss how you claimed to value me

yet never really made time or room for me in your life

I don't miss how you claimed you were proud of me

yet I always posted about you and never the opposite

I don't miss always being sad about the same things

Always being mad about the same things

The same things never changing

Because you never change

I just wished you did

Then hoped you would

Then knew you wouldn't

And that's not my fault

I'm not the first in a long line of people

Who you hurt and wished you'd change

I wished you'd change

The person I thought you were never existed

I made you up because

Maybe deep down I knew that who you were wasn't enough for me

I was holding out for the day when

you would finally come to your senses and treat me right.

That day never came

But I don't miss you now that's for sure