We loved each other. We spent so many afternoons together talking, laughing, crying, sharing secrets, creating inside jokes and learning about each other -- what we want, what we hate, and how to live. You became my best friend and another part of me. You filled a spot that was created from the start for your love and friendship.
I could go on forever about the experiences that we had. The adventures we got into. The fights that broke our hearts. The conversations that saved our relationship. That isn't how things are anymore. I am entering a new chapter in my book of life, a chapter that is familiar to women everywhere.
In the dozen or so pages after that story women will have to confront the feelings of jealousy, insecurity, longing and heart ache. Women miss the men they loved that are no longer in their lives. That's normal. The thoughts we have about the new women in our men's lives are what are strange. We think about them. We think about the jokes they are telling, the way they smell, the way they smile, walk, and how they dress. We want to know what it is about them that makes us no longer first choice. What made us a story for his history, a piece of his past?
Why do we lose our confidence when a new girl enters the picture? The way we view ourselves changes. We no longer feel good enough, or we think that it is our fault things ended. In reality, it is clear he just was not the one. But all of a sudden we want to be her. We wish we were that funny, or that we had longer hair. We want to be more athletic or more fashionable, like she is.
We can't stop thinking about her. We lose sight of who we really want to be. We stop focusing on highlighting our best attributes and showing kindness and love to others. Wearing sundresses and wedges or running six miles every day will not make us a better person. It will not be the make-it-or-break-it for the next guy.
Being hard working, trustworthy, speaking kind and encouraging words, having a respectable reputation, and acting selflessly are the characteristics that will create a healthy and happy relationship.
Don't try and be her. Don't make her your goal. Work on bettering yourself and do it because you know there are always areas to improve on. Remember your worth and your beauty in the times when she is all you can seem to think about.
