I Finally Took A Risk On Dating, And It Was Worth It
Start writing a post
Swoon

After 26 Years, I Finally Took A Risk On Dating, And It Was Absolutely Worth It

"Sometimes the biggest risks are those we take with our hearts."

1007
After 26 Years, I Finally Took A Risk On Dating, And It Was Absolutely Worth It
Molly Cohen

I always avoided dating because of my physical disability.

I never had a serious boyfriend. Up until now, my first relationship lasted about a month and I don't even count it.

I am not in any way saying this for attention, but I always thought I was (and at times still think I am) ugly and that I don't have a good enough body to date. Between my physical disability, my weight (which apparently is not bad), and my thoughts about me being ugly, I've avoided dating.

I thought my mental health struggles and nerve disease would be deal-breakers.

I would download apps constantly and not swipe right for guys I was actually interested in talking to. I went on dates with guys who I wasn't even interested in dating because I didn't think I could do better.

On a boring day, and I mean really boring day, for some reason I downloaded Bumble just to read some odd and funny profiles and to get some chuckles. I was 99.9 percent positive I was not going to find anything serious, and again, I did not think I was at all good enough for most of these guys on the app nor did I want to find someone off an app because I would rather be able to meet someone in-person.

Anyway, there was one guy I matched with that day. He was handsome and his profile was genuine.

We started talking and I am not a huge fan of small talk so I get right down to fun and nosey questions and he was amused by them. I figured I would eventually scare him off. I enjoyed speaking to him more though and it almost seemed too good to be true that I was hitting it off with someone from an app.

I got rid of the app in a few days because I was getting absurd and odd messages from guys... creepy, too. I gave him my number because he was nice and I thought he was cute and I had no expectations of hitting it off with him. But we kept talking and talking and at one point started video chatting.

This was all in May during COVID-19 so I had no plans on meeting him.

However, we kept talking and talking and finding more things in common with each other, but we also had our differences. He's quiet and shy, while I am outgoing and loud. We both enjoyed similar things, though, like working out, good food, movie nights, and more.

We really thought about meeting up during the pandemic. We decided to have a social distancing date, as odd as that sounds. We got pizza and sat outside six feet apart. He seemed so scared and I even offered him a pass to go home and he laughed and we gave the date a go. We hit it off and decided to meet a few more times after and broke social distancing after we spoke about the number of individuals we saw on an everyday basis. We wore masks when appropriate and at times kept a social distance when we could.

What was strange was that the second and third dates after the first ones were still odd. We both felt that it was best to stay friends cause we enjoyed each other's company. I was also, again, too nervous to jump into a relationship because I did not feel good enough. I kept saying to myself that he could do better.

The moment I realized I wanted to start hanging more with this guy again was when he called me during work to check in on me while he knew I was having a bad day.

Don't forget, I only knew this guy for about a week or so. We started hanging out more as friends and eventually, his humorous and outgoing side began to come out and I enjoyed hanging out with him even more.

I kept trying to talk myself out of hanging with him because I was scared to get feelings for him. He invited me over to meet his brother and his brother's girlfriend, the social distancing of course, and we began to hit it off more.

One day, he told me he liked me and could not just be friends. I was not ready for a relationship so I told him I needed time to think, even though I knew deep down I liked him, I was just scared and felt he deserved better.

I continued to grow fonder of him when he helped me clean my bathroom, which my disability makes it hard for me to do, when he came over just to make sure I was OK, when he offered to drive me to a doctor's appointment if I was unable to drive — all of the small good things added up.

One night, he opened my window and my cat got out and he ran out looking for a cat which he found thankfully! He saw me so upset if I could not ever see my cat again and he felt bad he let the cat out. He found my cat and that was the icing on the cake when I told him I would be his girlfriend. It was not the fact that he found my cat, it was the fact that he was not going home until he found him. All of these small wonderful things he did for me got to me and I liked him more.

I did not want to be scared of dating anymore so I jumped right in.

My anxiety, which he knows I have, plays mind games on me every day about how I am not good enough for him, or will give me doubts about him and tell me things in my head like "Do you even like him?" or "Is he the one?" The thing is, I don't know if he's the one and I try to talk myself out of dating every day. I always question why he likes me and he names all these wonderful things about me. About two months later we're still together. The anxiety continues but I try every day to plow through it to keep present with him because to me he's worth it.

I really never thought someone could be so nice, caring, generous, thoughtful, and amazing as this guy is. I keep saying to myself that I don't deserve for him to like me and that he can do better and he hates when I say that because he says I am special and he likes me for me.

The point of my story is that it took me 26 fricken years to finally be comfortable actually dating someone. We have no clue if we are the ones for each other but he reassures me to take it one day at a time and stay present. The risk of letting myself date was worth it because I found myself a keeper. We don't know how long it will last or if it will last forever; all we know is that we're both currently happy and he helps me feel worthy and loved every day.

Let yourself take risks for a guy who likes you and if you like him back because you just will never know how it will go until you do. They will like you for you and you may end up happy.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Swoon

23 Pandemic-Approved Date Ideas That'll Send Sparks Flying From Six Feet Apart

There's a safe way to date right now and yes, it includes masks.

198436

While some people would rather opt out of dating altogether during the pandemic so they don't have to wear a mask on a first date, others are choosing to listen to both guidelines and their heart in order to find love during the time of coronavirus (COVID-19).

Should you be one of the individuals welcoming romance right now, there are pandemic-approved dates you can go on that still adhere to guidelines (and yes, you'll have to wear a mask).

Keep Reading... Show less

I didn't believe the notification when it came through to my phone: Ruth Bader Ginsburg had died from complications due to cancer.

Keep Reading... Show less

In our patriarchal society, men hide from their feelings, but toxic masculinity is literally killing men. They swallow the pain and move on so that they can look, feel, and act "tough."

But, strength is derived from asking for help and voicing your struggle and, trust me, working on your mental health is one hell of a struggle. The real way to "man up" is to acknowledge the downfalls in unjust societal norms. Mental health problems do not mean that a man is weak, they are neurologically-based disorders that require professional treatment.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

11 Things Your Boyfriend Should Do Before He Drops $499 On A PS5

Let's start with spending less time gaming and more time with you.

16744

Scrolling through Twitter this week had me rolling on the floor laughing as I read some of the hilarious tweets from ladies who, whether in a relationship or not, shared reactions to the news that PlayStation 5 is on its way

As this "buy your boyfriend a PS5" joke takes off across the internet, let's just say, there are a few things your BF should be doing before dropping $499 on the new gaming system — or, if the tweets are real for some, before you buy it for him as a gift.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Sorry, But 'I Don’t Care About Politics' Is Not A Valid Excuse For NOT Voting

The younger generation of voters is so crucial to the upcoming election because our vote is going to shape the world that we are about to enter as adults.

39318

When I ask my friends if they are voting this term most of them respond with "no" followed by an explanation of "I don't care enough," "It doesn't affect me," or "I don't keep up with politics," etc. I get it, as a college student I know that there are many other things to be concerned about like school, relationships, work, and friends. I also understand that keeping up with politics can seem like trying to keep up with an over-exaggerated reality show that has way too many seasons. Not to mention most news stations and websites are biased so it's hard to decipher if what you hear is true or fake.

However, despite all of this annoyance, as the next generation of Americans, we have to remember that we owe it to ourselves, our families, and to our futures to care.

Keep Reading... Show less
Tasia Sli

Tasia Sli and Anna Yang met in quintessential New York fashion at a chic rooftop event, inquisitive Yale grad Anna gravitating towards model/entrepreneur Tasia.

Keep Reading... Show less
Photo by Anna Hernández-Buces

"Do you have big parties on Cinco de Mayo?"

Keep Reading... Show less

Two of my favorite things in life are reading and books. Obviously, they go hand-in-hand. In my life, I've realized that there is nothing better than learning about the current world or getting fully immersed in another world. Reading can inspire, teach, and entertain you.

For me, the feeling of opening a book and smelling that fresh book smell can't compete with anything else.

Keep Reading... Show less

Expecting mother and wife to singer/songwriter John Legend may have accidentally slipped up and revealed the gender of her and Legend's third baby today on her Instagram story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

20 Books About Latin And Hispanic Heritage Absolutely Everyone Should Have On Their Bookshelf

Any ally of the community needs to be reading these incredible reads.

10935

I go through phases when it comes to what I like to read. I am typically reading two books at any given time: one serious nonfiction and one escapist fiction novel to have on hand and open up depending on my mood.

What remains consistent, however, amongst most of my fellow bibliophiles is a desire to try new and different authors and genres. I, as an Indian woman, have been partial to reading books written by fellow Indian and Desi writers since I first got a library card.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Asked 46 Women What They Thought About The Term 'Plus-Size', And Here's What They Had To Say

It's 2020, where change is inevitable and norms are not only questioned, but challenged.

6407

We live in a world where it's become customary to push boundaries, break rules, and question standards upheld by society. Though try as we might, some of these standards are harder to conquer than others — body image is one of the top contenders.

For years, the body positivity movement has pushed for the acceptance of all marginalized body types not represented or celebrated in the media. Recently, we've gotten better at appreciating and accepting all body types, but one thing that's still lingering is the stigma of body image in the fashion industry — more specifically, the term "plus-size."

Keep Reading... Show less
Netflix

Many popular TV shows are holding off premiers until spring, so most people are relying on their television subscriptions to get them through a socially distant fall semester.

Thankfully, Netflix was busy filming this past year because there is a ton of new original content coming in the near future. From mysteries to romances, here are some of the best new shows you have to check out this year:

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Taylor Swift Sang 'betty' At The ACMs And It Was The Perfect First Live 'folklore' Performance

I guarantee that Inez is spreading rumors about how fire this performance was.

5203
CBS

The Academy of Country Music Awards were last night and the performances were wonderful, but Taylor Swift's live version of "betty" from her newest album "folklore" really took the cake for me.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

9 Reasons I Unfollowed All The Fitness Influencers On My Instagram Feed

I don't need to feel bad about myself because of who I follow on social media.

3997

Throughout quarantine, something that a lot of us picked up on was working out. With all the free time, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to work on that "dream bod" you've been wanting for years, or to just feel good about yourself.

A common way to stay motivated and keep yourself on-task is to follow fitness influencers on various platforms. For some people, yes, this can be a healthy and helpful way to keep your drive. In other cases, however, this can do more harm than good.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments