Coming home from college is a little weird at first. The first time I came home from school, it felt so strange that the whole time all I wanted to do was to go back. I had trouble making sense of my life at home after spending so much time at school. When I came home for the summer after my freshman year of college, the thought of spending four months at home and away from my new friends was a little daunting. As much as I felt uneasy about it, though, the summer in between my freshman and sophomore years of college was one of my favorites, and it provided me with a new understanding of the unexpected ways college had changed me.

I genuinely loved that summer. It was an eye-opening mashup of old friends and new ones. The defining factor in that moment of my life was the state of transition it was in. The change I'd welcomed into my life as a result of my freshman year was juxtaposed to my lingering attachment to my home life all of the sudden. I was excited to take my future college roommate to my favorite downtown concert venue when she visited. On our way there, we unintentionally ran into a slew of people I used to know. As it turns out, my acquaintances from high school and my new best friend really liked each other. Conversations with old friends consisted of sharing tidbits of the new lives we had embarked on. It was a happy combination of old and new.

I learned that there were plenty of things that still felt unresolved from high school. With a little bit of the same naivete that had defined these relationships and choices in the first place, I allowed things back in to my life that I could’ve sworn I’d never see again. The past seemed to have funny ways of finding its way back, but with little hesitation, I let old flings and frenemies back into my life. In making the conscious decision to allow myself to dare to open old wounds, the change I’d experienced in that year I’d been at college became the most apparent. It was interesting to see where people you used to know had ended up and humorous to realize the ways in which they'd stayed exactly the same. I made some of same mistakes that I had made at 16, 17 and 18, only to discover that they had different implications in my life than they had before. I chose to turn to my new college friends for advice on old high school drama when it arose and invited old friends to get-togethers with my new ones.

I managed to maintain a newfound sense of clarity in this in-between, allowing the wisdom that had come from living away from home for the first time be the voice of reason in navigating my new perspective on old turf. I let go of old grudges from a year or two ago that suddenly felt ancient. Maybe this was because I felt that I hardly knew the person who'd feigned them in the first place. Maybe it was because my focus and priorities had shifted quite a bit. Ultimately, I realized that people who’d known me in high school served as markers for the ways in which I’d changed. As it turned out, opening doors again that I’d thought closed a long time ago was an exercise in discovering what nine months away from home had done for me.

I came to realize that the biggest gain I made in my freshmen year of college was the shift of perspective that nine months of constantly changing and adjusting and a slew of firsts, like living away from home or with a roommate for the first time had brought on.

I learned that I'd become more patient in some areas and more insistent in others. I worried less about things that used to eat away at me. I learned I had little time for people who didn't make an effort to maintain friendships, but that I was also more willing to accept the fact that some people simply didn't have a place in my life anymore. I appreciated the irony of it all as well; I never imagined this summer would consist of learning new things from the old life I'd been so eager to leave behind when I left for school just a year earlier.

In a way, it was largely an effort to make peace with the past. I brought my new friends in to my old life to reconcile the two worlds I was balancing, making sure old and new worked together harmoniously. I re-evaluated judgments my younger self had made by making different decisions than I had back then in the same situations. I solved discrepancies in relationships with people who'd previously left me feeling confused, betrayed or angry. It was also unapologetically fun since I knew it was not at all permanent. I enjoyed everything I had about my life at home with a new perspective and without all the same pettiness of unwanted drama. In the end, it proved to be an invaluable kind of closure.

And then as the seasons changed, I found that once again, I had too. After almost one more semester at school, being home at Thanksgiving break felt entirely different. I realized that the comfortable space I’d occupied last summer was not a permanent one.

As much fun as I had that summer, more than anything, those four months served to close out a chapter in my life. As I chose to move to New York City for the summer, I had a small sense of nostalgia for how much I had enjoyed being at home last year. Mostly, though, the lessons I learned then serve as reassurance that where I am now is where I'm supposed to be.

If you find yourself also caught in this kind of in-between, embrace the change that is happening at this moment in time. This time is unique in that you'll never feel as connected to your life at home as you spend more and more time at school. You will be less hesitant to move forward with your life when you are able to realize the ways in which you've changed. Don't be afraid to open old doors again, and don't be afraid to let those things go when the time comes as well. Most importantly, enjoy this time, because it will only happen once.