I Completed My 2019 New Year's Resolution: To Love Myself
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I Completed My 2019 New Year's Resolution: To Love Myself

This year I had only one goal, and I'm proud to say I completed it.

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I Completed My 2019 New Year's Resolution: To Love Myself
Amber Aikman

At the beginning of the new year, everyone makes these new year resolutions that usually don't last till the end of the month. For me, that resolution was always the same: lose weight, go on a diet, cut out carbs. Any alternative to "make myself pretty enough to hide my lack of self-confidence" was good enough. As you can guess, these "resolutions" rarely lasted a month; unless I saw worth within myself, none of these other habits would stick. So for my 2019 resolution, I decided I would use the year to love myself entirely.

When I started, I didn't know what I was supposed to do or what I was meant to change. I was bullied for my weight since I was very young and since then I've never been able to look at myself the same way. Instead of looking at food as food, all I can think about is calories, sugars, and fats. Some days I couldn't look in the mirror without bursting into tears at the sight I saw, yet according to my BMI, I was in the perfectly normal range for my weight and height.

I decided that every morning when I woke up, I would take time to appreciate myself. When I put my feet on the floor, I would thank my legs for working and my feet for carrying me. While I did my morning routine, I appreciated my hands for helping me complete basic tasks like making breakfast and getting dressed. Every time I felt low about myself, I wrote something encouraging on a sticky note and put it on my mirror so that when I woke up, it would be the first thing I would see.

Remember: Nothing will change if you don't try. Any attempt is better than no attempt at all.

My favorite tactic? Any time I had an irrational thought I would call myself out on my own B.S. using basic logic. Every time I thought, "I'm already so fat, I don't deserve to eat; I shouldn't eat anything." I told myself instead, "You are HUNGRY, you need fuel to SURVIVE. Eat the damn fuel." Whenever I thought, "My body is ugly, nobody should look at me," I would automatically tell myself instead that "I am HUMAN, which makes me DIFFERENT and BEAUTIFUL." At first, I thought these tactics were useless, but, over time, they started to work. The irrational thoughts began to die down when logic took over, and I replaced them with love, adoration, and appreciation for myself. I am determined to a fault, I'm unapologetically honest, funny, and a little weird, but I absolutely love it all.

So as you may be thinking of your 2020 New Year's Resolution, remember to keep a realistic resolution in mind. Keep your mornings mindful, your diets open to natural carbs, and your irrational thoughts silenced.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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