“Fat.” It’s a stigma that has been used to body shame other people for decades now. We hear the term in magazines, commercials, TV shows, movies, and even in our own encounters with other people. Sometimes it’s used in a joking manner; sometimes it’s not. Society, however, has somehow left girls and women everywhere with a double standard. On one hand, people teach women to use kind words and to never call someone this ugly word. It’s hurtful and malicious. Yet, no girl is usually reprimanded when she directs this word at the most important person in her life: herself.

It’s no secret that females are obsessed with body type. As a woman myself, I realize it’s often something I can’t control. The desire for women to be beautiful in our own skin is almost parasitic; no matter how hard we try to love ourselves, sometimes we just can’t get past what we see in the mirror. For some, it’s more of a struggle than others, but either way, the struggle is there. And along with that struggle is often where the term “fat” is used.

I can’t even count a number of times I have heard another girl call herself fat. It’s almost become second nature to some of us, and that’s really distressing. However, what I do find most troubling about this issue is when girls I know personally, who are the epitome of perfection in my eyes, call themselves fat. These girls are usually much thinner than I am and have NOTHING to even be ashamed of, yet they are calling themselves such a degrading term after treating themselves to one fast-food meal.

If we’re being honest, it is a pet peeve of mine. In my mind, I become infuriated when women who I long to look like use this term. I think to myself, “You don’t know how good you have it, but you are going to stand in front of me and call yourself fat?” When my perfectly beautiful friends use this term, it is only expected that I would ponder the question well, if she’s fat, then what am I?

I’m not saying I’m completely innocent of doing this myself. In fact, what I’ve learned as a female is that I undoubtedly use this word to insult myself more than any other word when I feel insecure. It almost comes naturally in the twisted world we live in; we are surrounded by so many women that we believe to be thinner, and thus more beautiful than we are.

Often, we as women believe that we are only shaming and hurting ourselves by using this word. We believe that by using this word, we show that we are not conceited or big-headed. But this is all so far from the truth. What I have learned is that we, as women, hold the stigma in our hands. Yes, men may call other women fat, and it’s disgraceful and utterly tactless, but don’t we do the same thing to ourselves as females? It is our job to stop calling ourselves this nasty word because it isn’t just about ourselves anymore; it’s also about the young girls, friends, and other women that look up to us.

As women, we must start thinking about how using this term affects others. We must start thinking about the people around us, and how words directed towards our own bodies will influence another person's thoughts and insecurities. It is our job to stop talking about calories in this or that. Stop worrying about the way we look in front of other people. Stop telling others what we should or shouldn’t eat. None of this is our place or our job. And it’s certainly not our place to call anyone else fat, so why do we do it to ourselves?

Of course, the thoughts will arise, but let’s work to keep the hatred from leaving our mouths. Let’s be aware. Let’s be confident. And most importantly, let’s be beautiful.