Things Not To Say To A Sexual Assault Survivor
Swoon

8 Hurtful Comments That Sexual Assault Survivors Were Told After Their Attacks

"If you didn't meet him on the internet, it probably wouldn't have happened."

18
8 Hurtful Comments That Sexual Assault Survivors Were Told After Their Attacks

Trigger warning: sexual assault

Ignorant comments about sexual assault are not only unjustified but they are extremely hurtful.

Recently, comments about the dancers in Cardi B's Grammy performance created some serious fury. Comments like: "Wow, look at the way those girls are dancing! They are just ASKING to be raped." are not acceptable, and its time we discuss the power of words over sexual assault survivors.

I asked survivors of sexual assault to share the hurtful comments that have been said to them or around them. There is no place for ignorant comments anymore.

Are you sure you're not making this up?

"I was raped at a college party by a boy who went to the same high school as me, both my parents knew about the incident. Frequently, they make offensive comments, including after I shared with them what had happened: 'Are you sure you were actually raped? Are you just making this up?'" - anonymous

The #MeToo movement is bullshit

"The #MeToo movement is such bullshit. Most of them are lying anyway." - anonymous

You were the problem

"I was 19-years-old when I was raped, and I was drunk at a party when it happened. I don't remember much of it except when he finished and left me there to pull my pants up myself. Next day I went with a couple of friends to get a rape kit done. I didn't know if I would tell my mom but I decided I would and instantly regretted it. We don't talk about it ever anymore.

My mom told me that my rape was my own fault because I was drunk. She said to me, 'I've been drunk in public many times and that never happened to me. The fact that you're drunk is the problem.'" - anonymous

You're lying

"I had multiple friends say I was lying." - anonymous

Stop saying your test "raped you"

"Comments like, 'that test raped me' or 'I'm about to get raped by my final' are said often by people who have no idea what I have gone through." - anonymous

You can't be raped if you met him on a dating app

"I was in a relationship, forced by him and then forced to stay in the relationship.

'If you didn't meet him on the internet, it probably wouldn't have happened.' - The guidance counselor at my high school

'How are you still in the relationship with him now if you didn't want it?' - My ex-best friend."

But he's your boyfriend?

"How can it be rape if you're in a relationship"

Words like these are incredibly painful for those who have experienced sexual assault. Whether you know someone who has been assaulted or not, please be careful in the way you talk around and about them.

Sexual assault survivors are often surveying a room or situations to check if they are safe there. Watch how you talk about abusers and those who make allegations, especially now that sexually assault talked about in the media quite commonly.

If you are unable to change the way you speak about sexual assault, offenders, survivors, scenarios, or tossing around the word "rape" in an unnecessary context, please keep your mouth shut.

And remember, sexual assault survivors NEVER asked for it.


Report this Content
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

-Having struggled with acne prone skin for years, I was cautious to try a new serum on top of the other products I've come to trust.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Your Social Activism May Actually Benefit From A Cleansing Social Media Detox

In the craziest year of our lives, sometimes there's value in taking a break.

We are living through, unequivocally, one of the most dangerous, unstable, chaotic periods of any of our lives. From COVID-19 to crises of police brutality to the mass exploitation of the poor by mega-corporations, the world outside seems to be looking more dystopic every day. What can be done about it? For many, activism involves heavily posting on social media to keep others aware. However, this comes with a net negative cost — increased levels of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness about the state of the world. Why might this be? After all, in past eras activists have endured comparable and greater levels of abuse and relentless torment from oppressors. Why, now, are people getting so easily burnt out?

Keep Reading... Show less

Reading is a relaxing activity that provides many benefits. Everybody reads books (when they are not watching Netflix, chatting on social media, or making Tik Tok videos) to distract themselves from reality for a while. Many do not realize the positive impact that books have like reducing stress, assisting with sleep, improving cognitively, and strengthening the mind. In honor of National Book Day, there are many great novels that you can read to mark this special holiday. Here are the best ones to check out.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

5 Things You Need To Know Before You Watch 'Arrested Development' On Netflix

"Her?" Yes, she's an amazing show! (You'll get this joke after you watch the show).

Netflix

"Arrested Development" is an award-winning sitcom that aired for three seasons on Fox beginning in 2003, and then was picked up by Netflix for a fourth season in 2013, and then again for a final season in 2018.

However, it seems to remain one of the world's most underrated and under-appreciated shows of all time. Although this article alone won't be enough to skyrocket the show to Netflix's top 10, I hope that it will open people's eyes to the value and quality of the show.

Keep Reading... Show less

I have always felt left out because of how I look and who I am. I have always felt like the elephant in the room, literally. I have always been shamed for my size. For the longest time, I cared so much about what I wear and who I wore certain things in front of. I never wanted to wear shirts that would show a lot of my arm, located above my elbow. I wouldn't wear shorts that didn't go to the tip of my knees, at least. I never wore anything remotely tight, where you could see every curve, roll, or imperfection. I was so insecure about myself, and not many of my friends knew.

Keep Reading... Show less

Being a pharmacy technician never held as many risks as it does now. Exposure too hazardous conditions were little to none, and garbing up was only conducted in IV compounding. But, now, in order to give nurses the medications they need to help their patients, they need us, pharmacy technicians.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

I Asked My Boyfriend His Opinion On Liking Other Girls’ Pictures, And, Spoiler Alert, It's Cheating

"When you get into a relationship and you're in love, you have to realize that liking photos is for the single lifestyle."

Ladies, listen up. If you are in a relationship with a guy and he is liking other girls' pictures on social media, then it's a red flag. A man who can look at someone else and show interest by liking it means he doesn't care about your feelings AT ALL.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Celebrities Stealing Designs From Small Fashion Labels Is NOT A Good Look, And They Need To Pay Up

When larger, more established figures or brands steal from lesser-known independent creators, they are taking opportunities away from these creators while also profiting from someone else's work and claiming it as their own.

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B recently collaborated on their new single "WAP," with the music video also being released on Friday. Both Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B posted photos of themselves on Instagram to celebrate the premiere of "WAP." An independent designer quickly noticed that the rappers' matching tops were copies of a top she had designed last year.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

7 Books That Are NOT In The Young Adult Genre That Will Change Your Life

Young Adult isn't the only genre that exists, so here are seven books that any book lover wanting to try something new will love.

One of the most popular genres in literature that everyone has read at least one book from is Young Adult fiction. Now, I personally can say that, in the past, I have been one of those people that only read from the YA section of the bookstore.
While there is absolutely nothing wrong with just reading one genre, it's good sometimes to venture out of your reading comfort zone into the other book genres of the literary world.

In a previous article, I discussed the importance and power of words. The perfect example of this is literature and its impact on the world. Books have always played a crucial part in human lives, from how we are able to expand our knowledge to how we pass our time.

Keep Reading... Show less

I recently tried out this peach ice cream recipe from Taste of Home, and it was incredible. I had never made ice cream from home before, and this recipe was super easy to follow and it turned out amazing! It was also great that I had most of the necessary ingredients at home already.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments