Hurricane Erika Swallows Florida

With its five mile an hour winds and a slight drizzle of rain as the sun is still shining, Hurricane Erika has officially destroyed almost the entire state of Florida. After being predicted to be a Category 1 hurricane by the time it hit, Erika dissipated into a ferocious “trough of low pressure” according to the National Hurricane Center. Governor Rick Scott put Florida under a state of emergency after Erika’s unpredictability caused billions of dollars in damage. The National Guard is coming in hot evacuating what is left of our beloved state. Governor Scott says, “we’re still anticipating quite a bit of rain” and he is beyond accurate. As the sun in blazes on my face right now, I remembered I felt about three raindrops—or maybe it was a bird flying by. Anyway, the future of Florida is at risk, people. The extent of the damage I have already seen is tremendous. A couple lawn chairs on the back patio have been blown over by raging winds.

So, start boarding up those windows and buy every non-perishable item in Costco, because "trough of low pressure" Erika is ready to do more damage than it has already done. Bring out those kayaks so you can get to class in the flooded streets. We all recall the FSU snow day a couple years back and the horrific damage it caused. #neverforget. The .05 inches of snow impaired the entire university and we truly are so lucky that no one was harmed. If Erika’s winds go from five to 10 miles per hour, school could even be canceled again for safety reasons. Prepare for the worst my friends.

(In case you couldn’t tell, all levels of this article presented in a sarcastic and untrue manner.)

On a more serious note, Erika has been called one of the sloppiest tropical storms ever tracked by meteorologists. It caused serious damage in the Caribbean and could potentially be a risk to Florida with high winds and flooding. Never underestimate Mother Nature. She can be an unpredictable and aggressive one. Pray for the victims, and stay safe.