I’m a firm believer that Florida is truly the most fabulous state. Now that I no longer live there, I often reminisce about my former life in the Sunshine State and dream about the day I move back home. But I’m positive any Floridian can agree with me on my list of the top things that are less than glamorous about life in the Sunshine State.
1. Mandatory Conversations With Your Neighbors.
Look, I’m not saying that I don’t like how friendly people are in Florida, but nothing is more nerve racking than tiptoeing outside to check the mail when you’re not in a talkative mood. It’s an unwritten Florida rule that if you make eye contact with your neighbor, you are now obligated to engage in a forced conversation with them.
2. The Lunatics
I don’t know if it's something about the blazing heat that melts away people’s sanity. There is a 95% chance that when you read an article about someone committing an oddly hilarious crime, they are from Florida.
3. The Animals
There is truly no end to the diversity of animals you find in your backyard. Alligators, snakes, deer, bears, manatees- you name it, we got 'em. I remember one particular morning in high school when I almost missed the school bus because I didn’t dare stand at the bus stop with a coyote outside my house.
4. Love Bugs
Love bugs' connection can’t be limited to just the heart, but their butts need to be connected as well. But being one with just each other isn’t enough for them.They also desire to become one with your car windows.
5. Drivers
I say a quick prayer before I risk my life getting on the roads of Florida. I swear, during your your drivers test, you could have been taking swigs out a bottle of Tequila and caused a traffic accident, but if you remembered to buckle your seat belt and fix your front mirror, congratulations! You are now an official driver in the state of Florida!
6. Interstate
Florida is stuck in an eternal traffic jam because of the interstate system.The interstate has also been under construction since before I was born, and they still seem to have made no progress.
7. Bipolar Weather
A real Floridian knows not to waste their time checking the weather. Mother Nature does as she pleases here, and she is constantly having mood swings. You wake up to sunshine and by 12pm, there is a damn hurricane brewing, and this is just your side of the street. Your next-door neighbor has an entirely different forecast for the day.
8. Lightning
Seriously, they didn’t name Florida the Lightning Capital of the World for s**** and giggles. There is a whole set of rules for what not to do when there is lightning. Get the hell away from water, never stand next to a tree, don’t drive, to name a few. And I can almost guarantee you that a mass power outage will soon follow.
