College in the movies isn’t really like college in real life. I know, you’re not surprised, but to some degree I was. I didn’t know what to expect when I came to college. People told me it would go by fast and be some of the best times of my life. Old students told me it would be easier than high school. I talked to my friends about what we had hoped and believed the beginning of our “new lives” would mean – endless parties, new friends, easy classes, cool professors. But really, we had no idea what to expect. I had puzzle pieces about what life in college would be like, but they didn’t fall into place until I got here.
What I came to realize very quickly is that college isn’t perfect. In fact, college is really hard. It’s the first time I was living on my own, surrounded by people I had never met, and very far away from home and my family. Which was honestly as exciting as it was terrifying.
One of the main things you expect coming into college is to make a bunch of great, lifelong friendships right off the bat. That promise is baked into the smiling friends on the college acceptance packets, the sorority girls’ gushing about their sisters during rush. The truth is that it’s not that easy. Going from a big fish in a little pond to a small fish in the ocean where it felt like nobody would ever really get to know me was really hard. There were just so many people it felt like I could never possibly find “my people” out of the masses.
The parties here are loud, crowded, and a little crazy, as promised. Nobody told me was that they’re all kind of the same, that they can get old sometimes, that they aren’t always going to be the most fun you’ve ever had ever, and that sometimes they can give you that feeling of being “alone in a crowded room.” I missed just hanging out, having sleepovers, watching movies, and getting food with my friends. And initially, it felt like everyone else was having more fun than I was and that hanging out with my “college friends” would always need to be oriented around going to parties.
But the biggest lie I was told was that college classes would be easier than high school classes. I guess that it depends on the person and the university, but from my experience that’s just not true. I have stayed up until dawn studying difficult, expansive, and seemingly endless material. I have been pushed to my mental as well as physical wit’s end by my classwork. And I love it – I love being challenged. But it’s not high school. And in no world is it easier than high school.
The biggest secret is that it gets better. You find your friends, you learn to appreciate but not be disillusioned by the parties, and you learn to work your ass off in school. But it’s a secret because nobody wants to tell you before you go that at least for a while, college is going to be challenging, hard, and a little bit miserable.
So, how’s college? It’s good, it was unexpectedly hard at first but it’s good now and getting better. I’m learning to love the place I’m in, the people I’m with, the future I want, and myself in the process. And that’s pretty great.
