We’ve all been there: you’re watching a movie, and you’re suddenly so taken with the movie’s lead that you've already pictured an entire life together, full of romance and adventure and drama and perfectly-timed dialogue. Your dream is shattered, though, when your actual date burps loudly next to you and brings you right back into reality. But movies always make things better than they seem, and chances are, your fantasies would not have played themselves out quite like you’d think. Here’s how those dream relationships really would have gone for you:
Grease (1978)
Your first date: Your first date with Danny goes well enough, except he keeps hiding behind his menu because he’s afraid his friends will see him out on a date. He also seems a little confused about what year it is, but you let that go, because he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, and his hair looks good in any decade.
How it ends: Your relationship with Danny is cut tragically short when, on the way home from your first date, Danny’s car flies into the sun, killing you both.
Clueless (1995)
Your first date: Your first date with Josh is pretty boring. He takes you to Starbucks for lattes and spends most of your date talking about the philosophy books he’s read. He seems less interested in you when he realizes your parents have never been married to each other, too.
How it ends: Even though your first date was lackluster, you decide to give him a chance and end up dating until one day, when you surprise him at college, you find him in bed with a girl with a pixie haircut while The Smiths play on vinyl.
Titanic (1997)
Your first date: Your first date is wonderful and romantic. Jack is sweet and attentive and perfect, aside from his weirdly intense phobia of the ocean. The two of you fall in love almost instantly.
How it ends: One night on the way into a restaurant for a nice dinner date, the two of you try to squeeze through the doorway at the same time and the door comes lose, smashing Jack and killing him.
A Cinderella Story (2004)
Your first date: Well, technically, you haven’t met yet, but you and “nomad609” Austin Ames have been chatting back and forth on the internet for awhile, and things are going really well. You text like, all day long too.
How it ends: A couple weeks into your textual relationship, you find out you’ve been catfished: “nomad609” is actually a weird tween boy from Wisconsin. Whoops.
The Notebook (2004)
Your first date: Your first date with Noah is pleasant, if not slightly awkward: he doesn’t say much, but you’re into his mysterious attitude and, every so often, he smiles at you and it makes your heart fall out of your butt.
How it ends: One day you get curious, so, while he’s in the shower, you go through his phone. You realize that while he hasn’t had much to say to you over the last year, he’s had a lot to say to his ex: he’s texted her every single day for the past 365 days.
John Tucker Must Die (2006)
Your first date: Your first date with John Tucker is the best date of your life: he knows just what to say, and you fall for every line. Sure, he’s known to be a player, but you’re pretty sure he’s changed. I mean, he’s so sweet, and people change all the time. He even brought you flowers, he holds doors open, and he seems genuinely interested in what you have to say.
How it ends: You barely make it a week into the relationship before John tries to sleep with your mom.
High School Musical (2006)
Your first date: Your first date with Troy is nice, but confusing for you: he takes you out to dinner, but at some point the entire restaurant (including Troy himself) breaks out into an expertly choreographed song and dance routine, and then they all act like nothing happened.
How it ends: The two of you have a whirlwind romance, full of love songs and aggressive hand-holding, and Troy wants to wait until marriage to have sex, which you find totally endearing. That is, until three months into your still-sexless marriage, your friend stumbles across Troy’s Grindr profile, to no one’s real surprise.
Twilight (2010)
Your first date: Your first date is a disaster: Edward mumbles way too much and is technically prettier than you, so you decide you’re better off as just friends. He can’t take a hint, though, and keeps following you around and showing up when you least want him to.
How it ends: One day, you try to trick him into coming to the beach on an especially sunny day to roast him but, when he gets there, he only gets a little more sparkly and you realize you’ve made a mistake. Edward, realizing what your plan was, eats you.
