Heartbreak. "Crushing grief," as Merriam-Webster has defined it. It’s something that, unfortunately, we all have to deal with at some point in our lives, whether it’s from a high school crush, college love story, or a marriage that didn’t work out the way it was so perfectly planned. It can break us down and make us feel a pain that is almost indescribable.

And it all starts with "Now what...?"

Step 1: Realizing you didn’t do anything wrong

Maybe your break up was sudden. Maybe it was something you saw coming. Either way, it can be a shocking and hard thing to come to terms with. And I can bet the main thing swirling through your head is "What did I do wrong?"

I’m here to tell you, that is not the question that should be going through your mind. I can guarantee you, nothing wrong was done. The relationship simply did not work the way it should have. Or, maybe the timing was wrong. Maybe you both got in over your heads. Whatever the reason for the breakup, it was not because of you.

Nothing and no one should ever make you feel like there is something wrong with you. Because we are all perfect in our very own way. We all have our own quirks, our own personalities, and, most importantly, or own ways of loving. That perfection can just be hard to match with sometimes.

Step 2: You are not alone

I know, I know. It feels like you are the only person in this world with no one who loves or cares for you after a breakup. But I can assure you, at this very moment, someone is thinking about you. As alone as you feel, you have to open your eyes and realize all of the people around you who are there for you no matter what. Those with unconditional love that will never leave you like your parents, siblings, and best friends.

It’s OK to lean on those people and lean hard. You may feel like a burden or that you’re annoying them but I promise they are worried about you and want to help. So let them. Let their love for you start to mend your heart. Asking for a little bit of help never hurt anyone.

Step 3: You will find your person

You thought this person was it. You loved them, they loved you. That’s all that matters… right? Wrong. There is so much more that goes into a relationship. Love and feelings are important but they are not the only factor.

Do you click the way you should click?

Can you be completely open with them?

Can they be completely open with you?

These questions and so many others are ones you should ask yourself to help you realize maybe this person wasn’t it. They can still be important to you, they can still be in your life, but you have to realize there are millions of people out there and one of them is your person. You just haven’t found each other yet. Give them time…They’ll show up.

Step 4: Give yourself time

This step can be a bit difficult, especially if you aren’t a patient person like myself. But sometimes the perfect cure to a broken heart is time. Take a step back and breathe. Find hobbies that make you happy, spend time with your friends and family, focus on school. And cry. Cry as much as you need to because I promise you will feel so much better after you do. Let it all out, stand back up again, tell yourself you are OK and be the amazing self that you are.