In December of 2014, Jamie Varon published an article on Thought Catalog titled "This Is How We Date Now." The article has since gone viral with over 4 million views and is an epic that describes all the woes of dating in today's society including our fear of commitment. Varon also makes the comparison of "ordering up a human being in the same way we can order up pad thai on Seamless." With apps like Tinder, this comparison is not far off.
These ideas on love and dating are reflected in our everyday pop culture. I mean, what better phrase is there to sum up our entire generation's view on dating then "Netflix & Chill"? These ideas are also reflected heavily into the music we listen to, specifically, Toronto-born rapper Drake. Drake has been known to talk a lot of about love and relationships which has spurred countless memes and jokes (i.e. Drake wouldn't have treated me like this).
Here is a list of the top 5 Drake lyrics that perfectly describe how we date now:
1."We live in a generation of not being in love, and not being together. But we sure make it feel like we're together because we're scared to see each other with somebody else."
Drake is dropping some major truth with these lines. Our generation has become pros when it comes to "almost relationships." And let's be real, half-way having someone is almost worse then not having them at all. And the "what are we talk?" is the single most terrifying thing to us millennials besides looking at your phone and seeing three missed calls from your mom. We just "go with the flow" and if one night we decide to hook up with someone else we tell the person that has slept in our bed for the past six months that they have no right to be angry because we're not "together." But, in the back of your head you know if the tables were turned you would feel some type of way.
2. "The woman that I would try is happy with a good guy, but I've been drinking so much that I'mma call her anyway..."
With all these "almost relationships" people tend to never really get closure. Plus, another facet of our generation is *dRunK TExtINg*. When we have enough liquid courage pulsing through our veins, we feel like it is appropriate to text our exes (or almost exes) and remind them once again how much you miss them and how the new person they are seeing still ain't sh*t. We can do this with little to no damage to our pride because if they don't respond we can just do like Jamie Foxx and blame it on the alcohol.
3. "I'd rather be with you, but you are not around. So I'mma call somebody up and see if they be down. Cause I hate sleeping alone."
This goes back to the very root of our generation's fear of commitment. The second the person you've been putting most of your time into isn't around for any period of time, it's so easy for us to call somebody else up and "see if they be down." We are scared of commitment but at the same time, we're terrified of being alone. And at times, we feel validation in having people wrapped around our fingers even though we have no intention of making things work in the long run.
4. "Isn't it amazing how you talk all this sh*t but we're still lacking communication?"
Conversations turned into text messages and arguments turned into missed calls. Nowadays, it's SO easy to misconstrue what somebody meant over text messages. People also have disagreements over what is proper texting etiquette. If I don't get a text back in three hours with no explanation am I allowed to be angry? Relationships have literally been ruined over text messages. But, what does it matter? I mean, we were never really together to begin with?
5. "You know you made me a promise, we're not in this for commitment."
Again. We fear commitment, because of choice. We could pick the ripest peach and still be searching for a riper, juicier peach, or hell, why not try an apple? I think deep down we really do care for other people--I think we're capable but we've been conditioned to think that it's OK.
With everything we're constantly bombarded with about love in the media--and in music--it may be easy to become disenchanted, but don't. As Varon said in his article, maybe love isn't dead. Maybe we just need to reinvent it.
