When I began my college search, I had no idea what I was looking for. I created a list of things that were important to me and outside of that, I was clueless. However, that’s not to say I entered the process blind: I knew exactly what I wanted in a school. The only problem was that I couldn’t put it into words.
This is a major issue for someone who needs to talk through her decisions with others and who relies on communication to fully understand their own opinion. So when I found a school that was in line with my expectations, was a good school, and one where I thought I would do just fine, I took the place they gave me. Looking back, I think that I accepted average because I would have rather been a big fish and been able to leave my mark instead of being challenged and being able to leave an impact somewhere else later in life.
My first few weeks at my new school were awful. I had few real friends and there were times that I thought about transferring again. A couple weeks in, I came to a point of realization: I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t allowing myself to be. I wasn’t putting myself out there to make the new connections I desired. This reflection made me turn into a more outgoing person and realize who I am on the inside. I struggled in the beginning because I didn’t know who I was or where I belonged. I was a fish in the sea just floating along without a care in the world or without any idea of where I was going, only that one day I’d find my spot and call it home. When I became comfortable with myself and realized that I do have passions and things that drive me toward success, I became more outgoing and more likely to talk to people.
Transferring was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make. Did I want to stay and be comfortable, or leave my comfort zone again? Should I risk losing the friends I made and the bonds I created in order to further my personal goals? Was a better education worth being in debt for years to come? And as I decided that the answer to the previous three questions was “yes,” I realized that I was done putting other people before myself. That sometimes, you need to step outside of your comfort zone and do what is best for you, not what others think is better or what you believe others want you to do.
People transfer for all kinds of reasons. They want to be closer to home, they aren’t challenged, they want to study something else, they realize they made a mistake, they feel as if something is missing and the list goes on. And although the need for something different has a different origin in each of us, the action that transfer students take is rooted in the fact we want something else and we will do whatever it takes to get that. I am a strong believer in the idea that all of us are on the road to self-actualization, whether or not we realize that. Sometimes it takes a few people some more steps than others; that’s fine and we should recognize the necessity for them.
For me, this path to independence, self-actualization, and self-acceptance involved crossing the line of comfort and into a sink-or-swim situation. I knew that I had to do something when I considered transferring yet again, but then understood that I’d be in this situation time and time again and I couldn’t sink so often. From transferring, I understood that I am stronger than I think, that I can put myself out there and show people who I am without being completely petrified, and that the process isn’t the easiest. Yet even though the climb is hard, it is completely worth it to see the view from the top and to realize how far you’ve made it. It’s up to each of us to decide what our individual story entails, whether it’s sitting alone or discovering who we truly are and pushing ourselves past what we want to do or what we think we can.
