Before I dated, I used to believe all people were good and I could never possibly be hurt.
While I'm dating, I realize how shitty some people really can be.
If you have ever been in a toxic relationship, it can be hard to identify if they really are toxic in your life until it is too late and you're damaged. I have been asked multiple times, "So why do you still stay with them? You're never happy together." This statement is hard to accept when so many just want to be loved, so they feel needed to somebody, or anybody.
I have had a few toxic relationships to know that I stayed for that time so I could belong to someone, leading to manipulation, to me it was worth it. I was wrapped up in someone else's life I forgot about my problems and created my own fake happiness. I told myself every day that because I am wanted, I am happy. That if I just keep doing this, I will fulfill my dreams of being wanted, as a role that every woman in this society should fulfill. Because I am only capable of love and you made me believe that.
When you finally convince yourself you're happy, you need to convince other people too. But you need to be very good at pretending, you need to feel fine. Many ask how he's doing, and some even bother to ask if you've had any trouble, but you hear his voice in your head ringing "I love you, I need you" over and over again. You tell anyone who ever wonders that he is the only one you want and you have never been this happy before.
They're causing harm to you, ignoring you, making it about them, only being around when it's convenient for them, telling you what to do, tracking your every move, getting jealous. All making it hard to even be around them.
But he loves you right? He really does care, he just can't control his actions. He's just protective, he will never hurt you right? We will make it out of this "rough patch" and he is just acting up.
These are only a few things that go through the mind of a victim of a toxic relationship. If you ever get the chance to realize that this cannot be love, run. If you ever hear someone in a relationship like this it is a clear red flag and you need help them out of the mess. If there is EVER a chance of these happening in a relationship or friendship, you immediately need to sit down your boyfriend/girlfriend/friend and ultimately draw the line. If your significant other does not agree that anything is going wrong or nothing is their fault, then you should never settle for them. The pain of trying to mend things in the long run or ignoring these signs can be detrimental and lead to emotional stress.
You can always stand up and prevent a toxic relationship, but you can almost never save one.
