The start of this week brings the start of November. And with November begins the holiday season. For many single, young adults the next few months will be bittersweet. On one hand, there will be a lot of family time which is good for the soul. On the other, there are plenty of opportunities for your twice removed Aunt Marge to bombard you with questions about your love life. For those people who are in a relationship the conversation will flow easily into a detailed retelling of their courtship. For everyone taking a hiatus from relationships the conversation will go in one direction, downhill. If you don't feel like participating in sweet Aunt Marge's interrogation, here are some possible options to help you escape.
1. Deflection
Deflect with food, fire, a puppy, literally anything nearby you can use. You can't answer questions about your love life if your mouth is full, or a candle accidentally gets knocked over and catches the drapes on fire. Anything is better than answering "What happened to _________? He was such a nice boy." for the eighth time, right?
2. Turn the questions around
Start flipping the questions around. When Aunt Marge asks why you haven't had a boyfriend for the past 4 months respond with "Why haven't you had a boyfriend the past decade?" That might get her off your back for a little while, but probably not for long.
3. Awkwardly laugh and walk away
When in doubt, give an awkward chuckle and go find where they're hiding the desserts. Frosting always makes everything better.
4. Explain how you are enjoying your single season
"So you'll be a bridesmaid in another wedding? Don't worry dear, your day will come some time." Thanks, but I actually wasn't worried about when my wedding day will come. I'm too busy enjoying my life and all the possibilities that come with being single. Number one thing on the "Endless possibilities list": I can eat the whole pizza by myself because I don't have anyone else to share it with. Boom! Who is the real winner here?
5. Pretend to get a phone call
"Oh, so sorry I can't answer that deeply personal question. I'm getting a phone call. I think it might be the mayor offering me a key to the city for being the best person he knows." Seems like a legit reason, right?
6. Explain your busy schedule makes dating hard
Between classes, homework, work, hanging out with your friends, eating, and getting 4 hours of sleep each night you have no time to commit to a relationship? Weak excuse.
7. Nod and smile and try not to kill anyone
Oh the patience it takes to not come across the table and smack someone (Aunt Marge) when they (Aunt Marge) refuse to drop the subject of your love life. Oh. The. Patience.
8. Explain how you haven't found someone to as awesome as you
"Because Aunt Marge I am a top notch gal and I ain't settling for no scrub." Try saying this without yelling it at the top of your lungs. It's not as easy as you think.
9. Be completely honest
She might not (probably won't) accept that you are choosing to be single because you want to be single. It is totally your choice and you are perfectly happy with your life right now. For Aunt Marge this won't be an acceptable answer, but it's your truth and that's all that matters.
10. Walk away
The hardest reaction is probably to just walk away and not give any response. This is the hardest one out there, and not many people can master it. If you are one of those people don't feel bad because you are in good company. No one here would blame you if, while you were walking away, you mentioned the only other single cousin just walked through the door. They might hate you for pawning Aunt Marge off on them, but your sanity will thank you.
