Grief is one of the hardest human emotions that anyone has to deal with. Sadly, there's no escaping it. Everyone will experience it in their lifetimes and they'll experience it more than once. It will swallow you up and spit you out and it doesn't care when you're happy. It will slowly creep in and out of your life whether you like it or not. It will try to steal away your happiness and remind you of your loss any chance it gets. People say that grief will one day go away but that's just not true. I think when you lose someone, you will always be somewhat mourning them. It's important to recognize though that you can find a way to live with it. It doesn't have to end your world. You just have to learn how to manage it.

Grief is always the most powerful in the beginning but it begins to slowly grow into a smaller thing the more years that pass by. It does get easier and you learn different coping mechanisms along the way. I think one of the most important things to do when you're struggling with grief is talking to someone. Holding it in will destroy you and make it worse the longer you go on. It's okay to admit that you aren't okay. It may seem like people don't care when you bring it up, but they do. Sometimes people don't have something to say to you but that's okay. Death isn't the easiest thing to talk about. It's important that you have people that will just listen to you.

One of my coping methods is just having a full blown cry fest. I make sure I'm alone and I cry my little heart out for a good ten minutes. I literally just ugly cry by myself. Honestly, it makes me feel so much better after (except for the pounding headache and puffy eyes). Sometimes it just builds up inside of you, and you need to let it out. I always know I'm due for a good cry when I start feeling the pressure of it build up in my head. I don't like crying in front of people so I always make sure no one's home.

I think you need to remind yourself that you're still alive. Your loved one wants you to continue living your life and be happy. That's all they want. They don't want you miserable, isolated, and sad all the time. They want your life to feel somewhat normal again. They recognize that your life won't be exactly the same because they aren't around but they want you to at least try to feel normal again. I think that's what motivates me. It makes me want to try new things and take everything in because you never know when you're next to go.

I still get angry sometimes, I really do. It's not fair. You should be with your loved ones until you're old and gray, but that's just not how life works. Everyone has different time clocks. My heart breaks when I hear something that reminds me of them or you just need their advice on something. I get jealous of other people that still have all their loved ones around. You're not alone, though. Everyone struggles with it but the beautiful thing about life is that we keep going. Despite our loss, we still continue to be better and do better. We survive the pain and we grow from it.