There's a lot of controversy over the word "slut." Some people criticize it as a misogynistic shaming of women for having natural sexual desires, while others are working to reclaim it as a source of sexual power and freedom.
Personally, I have mixed feelings. I applaud the people who embrace the term and use it in a way that's supportive and empowering, but I also think that those people are - unfortunately - a very small proportion of the population. When the word "slut" gets used in our society, it's very rarely meant in an empowering or positive way. Rather, it's used as a manner of policing women by making them feel guilty and ashamed for something as basic and essential to human nature as sexual desire.
You know you live in a patriarchal society when women are chastised for wanting and having sex but are constantly hypersexualized in the media. It's because women are only allowed to be sexual how men want them to be. When it's a fast food commercial or a magazine cover (or anything that's intended to sell a product and make money), it's acceptable for them to wear next to nothing. But when a woman exercises her own agency and decides to go home with a man that she just met at a club simply because she's in the mood for casual sex, she's a slut.
It reminds me of all the flack that Ariana Grande got for her song "Side to Side" which, if you haven't gotten the memo yet, is about not being able to walk the day after having really good sex. Ariana Grande was criticized for being inappropriate and yet male musicians write songs about sex ALL the time, most of which are MUCH more inappropriate than "Side to Side". It's because men find a woman embracing her sexuality and utilizing her agency as a human being to express sexual desires on her own terms as uncontrollable and threatening. Slut-shaming isn't so much about women being promiscuous as it is about men being insecure.
Now, to be fair, slut-shaming isn't always men doing the shaming. There are also women shaming other women because the idea that men are powerless to their desires and women are pure, chaste angels who bear all the responsibility on their shoulders is ingrained into all of us from the day we're born.
As long as it's consensual for everyone involved, preventative measures are taken to avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, and you're not cheating on anyone, you do you.
There's also no shame in NOT wanting or having sex. That's another thing that really irritates me. Women get judged for wanting and having sex, but they also get judged when they don't want to have sex. You're a "prude" if you don't want to have sex, and the reason why goes back to what I mentioned earlier. Women are only allowed to be sexual how men want them to be. When a man can have his way with a woman on his terms, it's ok. When a woman takes control of her sexuality by either engaging in or refraining from sex, it's not.
Women are forced to abide by an antiquated set of rules governing their bodies and their sexuality, but men aren't. Men don't get placed on a spectrum of "slut" to "prude" by the judgmental eyes of everyone around them. Men receive no criticism, shame, or judgment for being sexually active. In fact, they're encouraged to be sexually active.
With that said, my advice on how to not be a slut over spring break is this:
Your identity is all about perception and interpretation. You build your self-identity based on who you are physically, mentally, and emotionally, and how you interpret these qualities of yourself. If you want to avoid being a slut over spring break (or ever), stop viewing sexual activity as something negative. It's a part of being human and - most importantly - it's your choice how often and who you do it with. If you don't think of yourself as a slut, then you're not a slut.
