1. Treat yo self
“The best gifts are the ones you buy for yourself,” said me. But seriously, if you buy yourself a present you won’t be disappointed because you already know you’re going to love it! You can even wrap it for yourself if you want a little bit of extra enthusiasm; nobody’s judging.
2. Bottoms up!
I mean, obviously. What kind of lame birthday is it if you aren’t getting lit? Hit up the club or throw a party because your birthday is all about you. (If you go out you can even wear a birthday crown and a sash or something in hopes that some rando will buy you shots).
3. Leave your wallet at home
You pay for nothing on your birthday. Think of your friends as slaves to you for the day. It’s their responsibility to take you everywhere and buy all of your drinks for you so you don’t spend a dime. So basically just go freaking crazy with their credit cards.
4. Make sure your entire extended family has your college address
Learn from my mistakes. I barely got any birthday money this year because nobody knew my new address! A couple super dedicated family members just sent it to my parent's house, which is alright I guess but it’s just not the same.
5. Celebrate the night before, and the night of
Here is what you do: Go out the night before your birthday and take a shot at midnight. Then get up the next day and rally because it’s still your birthday!
6. Actually, celebrate all week
If you’re like me, you have what is called your birth week. Basically, one day just isn’t enough to celebrate the creation of who is most likely the coolest person on the face of the earth. So go crazy all week because you can.
7. Hang out with a different friend group for each celebration
If you go out with the same friends every night of your birth week, they’re going to go broke and won’t be able to pay for you anymore. This is why you go out with a different group for each celebration! Easy fix.
8. Cake, obviously
A birthday is not a birthday without cake. I’m personally a fan of ice-cream cake from Dairy Queen or cookie cake that is smothered in frosting. On your birthday you can eat as much as you want and nobody is allowed call you fat because they’re your slaves, remember?
9. Make sure your friends know you’re expecting presents
Presents are one of the best things about birthdays, so make sure your friends know that you want them. In the weeks leading up to your birthday, drop a few casual and subtle hints about what gifts you want. If they don't get you anything, guilt trip them into buying you even more presents for being so late. Or just force them to since they're your slave.
10. Constantly bring up your birthday
Always talk about your birthday because then people tell you happy birthday and it honestly never gets old. Like I said, this day (or week for all you special people) is all about you, so be the center of attention.
