Let's be honest. Most of us swiping left and right on Tinder aren't looking to find our soulmate.
When you're on an app determining who stays and goes based on their appearance, it's hard to argue that you're giving someone the opportunity to get to know you for more than what you have underneath your t-shirt and jeans.
Not to say some aren't there to find a genuine connection or friendship. From its reputation though, it's not the most common end game.
Let's say you're swiping leads you to someone though. You find them attractive and next thing you know you're meeting up and you're naked. Am I judging? Of course not, I wouldn't have any room to anyway.
You leave their place feeling satisfied (hopefully), without any real expectation of anything coming from this brief late night encounter. Next thing you know, you find yourself at their place again and this becomes a routine.
Late nights meeting up and exploring each other, maybe "watching" a movie before.
Then you find yourselves talking one night. What about? It could be anything really. How many pets you had growing up, what your favorite color or food is.
Whatever it is, you're learning something more than just what makes them moan.
This might lead to you wanting to know more about them and next thing you know, you've caught feelings.
This limbo of friends with benefits can last for weeks, if not months and it may be hard to know how any of this makes you feel.
When you go beyond just having sex, but actively invest the time in getting to know each other, it complicates things for better or worse.
Having sex be the first thing you do in a relationship with any new stranger you meet can make it hard to figure out what feelings are there, but if you find yourself catching feelings and you're having a hard time discerning if the other person is feeling a similar way, there are some signs you can look for to help.
If you or the other person do these things, you might have caught feelings...
- When you care what they think
- If you're having sex with someone and leave without any worry of what they might be thinking about you once that door closes, then you just might be having a thriving no strings attached sex life. But if you're leaving wondering what they're thinking about, what just went down and the talk you two had before or after, you might be a little more invested than you think.
- When you find yourself feeling jealous
- Jealousy is a dangerous feeling that we all feel at some point, it's inevitable. If you find yourself jealous when you see him with another girl on his Snapchat story or if you bring up a date you have with this guy Thursday and he falls silent, he might be feeling a little jealous. In both situations it's not a healthy response and maybe you even recognize that. You shouldn't get jealous or upset about him spending time with other girls if you guys are only friends with benefits. This is a possessive jealousy that is reserved for girlfriends or boyfriends, yet here you are. This might be a sign that you care a little more then you let on.
- When you find yourself getting excited to talk to them and the physical aspect is on the back burner
- If you find yourself wanting to tell them about something interesting that happened to you, you want to know how their day was and you find yourself content just cuddling and talking rather then just getting there and doing it, you might have caught some feels. When the physical aspect isn't the first thing you're worried about bringing you pleasure but find yourself content and satisfied with a conversation (and maybe sex after), this could be a sign.
These signs are based off my opinion and own personal experience, but they just might hold some truth to them.
Whatever the situation, if you find yourself feeling conflicted and not knowing where you stand and that bothers you, talk about it with that person. It's important not to put your feelings on the back burner.
Whatever you're feeling is justified and deserves the time and attention to be discussed.