At a point in time, everyone hits that wall where they just aren't sure how to move on. For me, that wall was a break up with my boyfriend of two years.
I will admit, ever since college, this relationship was a rocky road. He is at a military academy and I am at a normal four year college. This led to him being gone the whole summer before college, with no form of communication. Still, we were happy as could be, writing letters back and forth often. When he came home two days before I left for school, it was truly one of the happiest days of my life. I left for college two days later and started the next chapter.
I do not think we knew what was in store. Lots of frustrations followed suit, for I was trying to make friends but was having to constantly be on my phone to get one message from him that night. It is hard because he is in the military and feels deprived of a college experience. Which totally makes sense. But, somewhere down the line, everything started to feel less happy. I was getting ridiculed and put down and yelled at all the time.
This broke me.
I would stay up, long past any of my friends being awake and just wonder if I could rewind and go back to all the good days.
I didn't get that redo.
Then, when he broke it off for good, one of my best friends told me that this is what I needed. They said this has been consuming me all year and that I need to move on.
That seems impossible to do.
However, I am here to tell you that things will get better. Not overnight. But when you are no longer dating someone, it becomes about you. I realized I need to make decisions that are best for me. I cannot let my college experience of forming my best friends be tainted by someone else. I have seen that with multiple people in college, letting their significant other dictate what they can and cannot do, almost like a puppeteer pulling all of their strings.
So, when you are no longer in that relationship, do not fret. I know it's terrifying. But use this time to grow. Go to the gym today. Reach out to an old friend. Make some cookies for your friends. Get ahead on your homework. The best way to distract yourself is to dive into your work and life. Enjoy moments with friends. Then, I promise you, one day, you are going to realize that it does not hurt as bad. And each day after that, it will hurt a little less. Have faith in the concept of time and stay occupied.
Trust me when I say that this is not the end of your story. You have so many more blank pages to fill. You are worth it. You deserve the utmost happiness. Live freely and live for you.
It will all be okay.