In middle school I had curly hair cut to my shoulders, braces, a fascination with Social Studies, and a blue lightning Razor scooter. I had my first cell-phone, a prepaid silver device that could easily fit into my back pocket, and I had my first boyfriend which lasted the entirety of my 45-minute English block. The prime years of my life, without a doubt. Without a single care in the world. I was an awkward, somewhat chubby freckled girl and fortunately for me, I wasn’t the only one. Here, in the cinder block prison of pre-teens, I met my best friends that I still have to this very day.

We all grew up in the same neighborhood, spending our nights playing Kick the Can and Ghosts in the Graveyard. We went on family vacations together, shared every secret we ever had, and learned about life, taking the steps together in the process of growing up.

By the time we graduated high school together we knew our time together was coming to an end. Luckily for me, one of my best friends was going to the same college as me, but everyone else was splitting up. Some of them stayed in-state, but most of them went out-of-state to schools in Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Florida. The most dreaded moment of our friendship was emerging the closer we got to August and the start of school again. But, the summer before was spent making memories we would never forget.

If there’s anything you don’t necessarily need to know about me, but I’ll share with you anyways, is that I’m a crier. Mostly at happy things, rarely at sad things, but here I was saying goodbye to the girls I had grown up with and saw almost everything single day, sobbing like an infant who had just smacked their head on the coffee table.

I’ve learned from being hundreds of miles apart from your best friends, that keeping your friendship strong is possible and at times, it can even grow stronger. Here are some tips to maintain the “forever” when you split up to go to college. (These tips are still applicable to other long-distance friendship situations, give or take a few.)

1. Phone calls – Anytime, anywhere, no excuses. The people you grew up with know you the best and provide advice that they know suits you. Whether there’s a new love in your life, your dorm roommate is sloppy and smells, or you just aced your first chemistry exam – share the news and share your new experiences! At first you’ll make plans to chat on the phone, but as time progresses, you both will be busy and the plan to chat on the phone may fall short. Don’t be hurt by this because you both are busy. Just find the time another day to call them.
2. Remember the good old times – Send old photos back and forth, laugh and smile about the good times you will never forget, and let them know you’re thinking about them! Texting is a great way to stay in touch and receive a speedy response. If you both are committed to keeping your friendship strong, you both will make sure to do just that.
3. Pen pal – Congratulations, you now have a pen pal that you actually know and like! (Did anyone else have a pen pal in elementary/middle school that you had no idea who they were? And plus, they were always from another country so you didn’t comprehend anything they sent?) When it comes to writing to each other, all of the hype is in the first few letters. Where does it go after that? It ceases to exist because you all are busy people and can’t waste the time actually doing snail mail. But, the letters you do get and send will remain tacked up on the wall for a good while.
4. Holiday breaks – If you’re lucky everyone’s parents will remain in the houses you grew up in and seeing each other will be 1000 times easier. Unfortunately, that’s not how it always is. When the kids are out of the house, parents love to downsize. My mother went from Virginia to Maine. Why? I don’t know, I’m still salty about it. Now, whenever I go home it’s to Maine. (I have nothing against Maine, it’s a beautiful, lovely place.) Being on holiday without your friends can be a bummer, so whenever you can afford it, travel and visit them. The past two summers I’ve made trips down to Pensacola, Florida and trust me, I don’t go for the sun because I turn a nice shade of lobster red. Go and visit your friends at school, you’ll meet their new friends and become friends with them! You will then have a face behind the name you’ve heard them talking about.
5. Social media – Thank goodness for technology, am I right? You stay “in the know” of everyone you want to stay connected with (and some people you don’t necessarily care about, but that’s irrelevant to this article). However, don’t rely on this entirely for keeping up with your friends, that’s where you see the downside of online communication. Don’t substitute any phone call for a simple “like” on someone’s Instagram photo. Don’t comment on a friend’s status where they share the news of the recent passing of their beloved grandfather. Pick up your phone and give them a call.
6. Live your own lives – It’s absolutely essential to recognize that you two are different people with your own lives. Yes, it sucks to not share as many experiences and memories together, but when you do have the opportunity to spend time together, you’ll experience so much more and make better memories that you will never forget. A life you once shared together is now being lived apart, and don’t forget that. Don’t be jealous when they get a new best friend in college or they don’t respond to your text after a few hours. Feeling pettiness towards each other will only draw you apart. You’ll only be replaced if you allow it.

Best friends get together after months apart and it’s like nothing changed. From my own experience and from what I’ve learned from living apart from my best friends, take the time to stay in touch and see each other whenever you can. Friendships contribute to the person you are and it’s important to maintain them.

Develop strategies that work for you and your friends. All friendships are different and there might be certain friends of yours that you must connect with more often. Some friends talk every day. Some friends only talk once a week or every other week. It shouldn’t feel like a job, it shouldn’t put a strain on you to say or text a simple “hello”, but it should be something you actually want to do. Do whatever you can to keep the “forever” in BFF.

More before and after pictures, view at your own risk:

(2007, reppin' our future high school while we were still in middle school...Gosh, we were the worst.)

(2016, NYC, and now we're the best.)