By now, most college students have finished with classes for the summer and are starting internships and jobs. With the realization by many students that their unpaid internship was created by a company for the sole purpose of obtaining free labor, it is quite common for young people to turn elsewhere for a sense of fulfillment. In a bygone era, it was frequent for these lost souls to turn to religion, but in this godless generation, the only salvation is the use of the applications on cellular phones. Tinder, one of these applications, has been used by the masses to rekindle that spiritual flame that once burned so brightly. So as you can see, for students who aren't able to use Tinder over the summer, it's important to find new ways to have fun!
One summer activity that I've always loved is the building of tiny boats. Typically, one goes out into a forest, collects little twigs, and binds them together with string found in the neighbor's dumpster. The small vessels are usually no larger than the volume of three-and-a-half pomegranates, but the size can occasionally match the volume of up to five pomegranates. When floating the boats down the stream, it can sometimes be fun to race against a friend that you met on Tinder. Without Tinder, it can be more difficult to do this but it's still possible. There are a number of frozen yogurt shops that were designed with the intention that they would become vibrant hubs for meeting friends. Go get frozen yogurt and make some boats!
For some, the best part of Tinder is the fun swiping motion. The repeated swiping motion exclusively to the left or exclusively to the right (the direction depends on your gender identity) is therapeutic. Those who can't use Tinder this summer should find a nice broom with sturdy bristles and start sweeping sidewalks. Bernie Sanders is a fierce opponent of privatized industries such as sidewalk-sweeping, so taking this task upon yourself would really get him riled up. And that's fun for all of us.
Swimming is also fun. The best part about swimming is that it doesn't require a Tinder, although it's highly recommended that you have one so you can find a lifeguard. It actually might be better to find a lifeguard from somewhere other than Tinder because being "fluent in sarcasm" actually makes you worse at lifeguarding.
Some article I saw on Facebook said that forming a band is fun. You could do that.
Another article I read while waiting in line at Qdoba said that going to Chipotle is a fun summer activity. That same article also advised readers to find a hobby during the summer. Sounds like a good idea. Go spend hundreds of dollars on musical instruments that you'll use for a month before your lack of dedication and integrity causes you to quit.
Honestly, you should probably just find a way to use Tinder over the summer, even if you think you're unable to. It's not a fun app but at least it's free.
