Let me begin by saying that in no way is getting over someone easy. Heartbreak is a type of pain that cannot be described through just words, but if you try to follow these tips, you stay strong, and you put your trust into the world, you will make it through this.
1. Remove him from all social media.
Girl, I know you want to see his latest post, and what he's up to right now, but it isn't worth it. Before removing him from your actual life, you have to remove him from your virtual one. This is because this step is less complicated than taking him out of your actual life. I know for me, I am always on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, and if it's the same for you, you have to build the strength to delete him. You don't want to see his face anymore or what he's eating for dinner and you don't want to read statuses of weird band lyrics or how bored he is at work. Think of all the good that will come out of you deleting him from all of your social media. I promise you, this is going to help.
2. Stop re-reading past messages.
From the text messages that say "I love you too baby.", to the simple good morning texts, listen to me when I say this, STOP READING THEM. You will only get yourself more attached. It was the past, but now is the present. And right now you're trying to get over him. When you feel like you're about to pick up your phone and scroll all the way up to read a past conversation, text someone else instead. Text a friend or a family member or even post on social media. Whatever you have to do to not go back to the past.
3. Remember why you are hurt.
Clearly you are trying to get past him because he did something wrong by you. And no matter what the reason was, it is valid, and you have every right to feel the way you do. Remember the good times with him of course, don't just block those out, but for now, focus on what he did wrong. If he cheated on you, remind yourself why he's a son of a bitch and doesn't deserve you. If he lied to you, refer to the previous sentence. All in all, he hurt you, and you shouldn't let that slide.
4. Listen to good music.
I know this step might seem obvious, but I think during a time of pain and sadness, people forgot how empowering and healing music could be. So go blast some 90's pop punk, or listen to the Backstreet Boys or just songs that remind you of happier times. If you get an urge to jump up and dance, don't ignore it, go with it! Dance alone in your room and sing loud and feel joy again, because you can still feel joy even if you're by yourself.
5. Surround yourself with friends and family.
This is one of the most important steps on the list. Yes, it is possible to get over him in isolation, but friends and family care about you, and they will be there for you whenever you need them. Go out with friends, vent to a sibling, vent to your mom or your grandma or your dad or your dog. There will always be someone out there to listen to you. They will tell you how amazing you are and how you have to get past a lot of assholes to meet a genuine person. So please, whenever you are feeling low or anxious, just pick up your phone, call someone you love, and I am sure they will listen.
6. Distract yourself.
Sometimes when you're sad, you want to feed more into the sadness. And that is okay. You can watch some sappy chick-flick and cry your eyes out if you wish, but try distracting yourself from thinking of him. Read a good book, maybe some poetry or a Stephen King novel. Color! Be a kid again and buy a coloring book and just go wild. Go shopping and treat yourself. Make plans with friends and spend the whole day together. Do whatever it is that will put your mind on something else. He doesn't deserve to be on your mind honey, remember that.
7. Take the negative to create positive.
I'm sure at this point, you're feeling an immense mix of emotions. You have to try to make them benefit you, as odd as that sounds. For example, if the thought of him makes you angry but you can't stop thinking about him, run off the steam. Pump those endorphins and sweat out your hatred for him. Or if he hurt you and you're feeling sad and broken, write those feelings out. Journal it. Write spoken word poetry or paint what you're feeling. In psychology, it's called sublimation, where you take your feelings and exert them on something else. It is a beautiful thing, and it's worth a try.
8. Whatever you do, DO NOT reach out to talk to him.
If you haven't deleted his number yet, you will feel inclined to send a text or make a call, in hopes of closure or restarting whatever relationship you had with him. Babe, I know it's tough, but let me tell you, there is no such thing as closure. There is no restart button. Things happened, real shitty things happened, but it is something that you will get past if you just keep your head up. Don't try to contact him okay? It will just be a vicious cycle of you getting hurt, once again. And you don't want to have to read this article twice. Do yourself the favor, don't talk to him. Say this out loud: "I (insert name here), will not talk to (insert 'person's name you are trying to get over' here)."
Okay, you said it. So stick to your words.
9. Remind yourself of your worth.
You are worth more than you think, do you hear me? You are a goddamn princess who deserves respect. You are intelligent and kind and pure and you will not let anyone tell you otherwise. You are a great person and you have to love yourself more than anyone else. Just because he didn't value you, it does not mean you don't have value.
10. Let time work its magic.
If all else fails, just sit back and let the universe do its thing. Time will pass, people will come and go, and you will float on in the current of life. I promise you that time heals all wounds. Slowly, right before your very eyes, he will vanish from your thoughts. You will notice you don't think of him before you fall asleep. Certain things don't remind you of him anymore. He will always be in your past, but that does not mean he has to be in your future. You are in control of your life. It will be hard and there will be some bad days, but honey I promise you there are good days ahead. Just wait it out, and see for yourself when you get there.
