It’s 2015: Each of us have several social networks that we check and update incessantly, and yet we still feel the need to “find ourselves.” Maybe this desire for self-discovery is legitimate, maybe it’s for lack of a better idea, or maybe we’ve brought this self-uncertainty upon ourselves.
In every post, photo, comment, and caption, we leave a little bit of our personalities for the rest of the world to see. Technology gives us the power to voice our opinions on topics we could have never been exposed to before. My graduating class consisted of 17 people in a single-building school that educated 300 students from Pre-K to 12th grade. Galeton, Pennsylvania, the town I grew up in, has fewer residents than Lycoming has students.
My high school had no AP, Honors, or weighted courses, which stifled students’ ability to visibly excel, oftentimes making their scholastic efforts seem like nothing. Also, because of the town’s size, there wasn’t anything to do. But everyone says that, right? “Oh, man, I’m so bored. My town sucks.” In Galeton, kids hang out at the 24-hour gas station and buy overpriced pizza and chewing tobacco, illegally.
Do something you love. We’ve all seen movies where mom and dad want their little girl to be a doctor or a lawyer when all she wants to do is write poetry or paint on everything. It’s sad that these types of movies are a reality for some people.
Being a poetry major, I’ve heard “impractical” get thrown around and, recently, I’ve considered dropping the major because my coursework has been nearly unbearable. But then I pick up a Langston Hughes Collected or T.S. Eliot’s "The Waste Land and Other Poems" and remember why I declared in the first place. You’ll notice that about people who haven’t “found themselves.” They tend not to care about things as much as others, whether it’s an essay or how many thumbtacks they keep on their dorm cork boards. Also, in the process of doing something you love, you’ll meet others with the same passion, but if you don’t care, no one else will either.
Most importantly, to over-quote Shakespeare, “to thine own self be true.” Sadly, there’s no other way to talk about self-discovery, which has become cliché, than to quote a brilliant line that has also tragically become a cliché. Whatever you actually are, be that. The Internet is the worst place to do this, but it’s where we do it most often. Sure, it’s easier than face-to-face conversation, but there’s a wall of time between you and the world that allows you to formulate what you’re going to say next, which subtracts from the personal aspect of spontaneous response. What you say immediately following another statement is what you truly feel inside. Although we make these social accounts to connect with others, all others ever really get from us is the storefront mannequin, but we get to change the pose.
Sure, you’re picking the words that you want to represent you, but is that really you? Are you just a list of carefully chosen words? Some people wear sweatpants all week and sleep in till 3 p.m. on the weekends. Hell, I ate Ramen above a box fan once because the chance I’d spill scorching broth on my leg was slightly lower.
I think entire films can consist of one action, one personality, or just a box of Raisin Bran on a toilet. Granted, it’s just a Vine, but I think it could be more. Regardless, neither I nor you are a list of carefully chosen words.
So, what’s with today’s fixation on “finding yourself”? Simply, I think it’s that people are trying too hard to be the person they want to be, not the person they are, which is what begets all of these fronts, these filters people put on for others.
“Finding yourself” isn’t so much the problem as it is dwelling on the fact. Some people profit from finding themselves -- make careers from it -- but really, how long can you not know? For some, it’s like using a pen until the ballpoint’s just indenting the paper. When does the ink run out? When does this whole “finding yourself” thing stop being a game of conscious oblivion? Here’s some advice, whether you take it or not: Stop searching for yourself.
You are the person you find when you’re not looking.
