Sometimes when you have a conversation with your heart, it talks back to you in ways you couldn't imagine. And sometimes it's not a conversation with words, but with thoughts. Tonight, my heart and I were talking about the decision of happiness.

What she told me was, it is indeed a decision you make. No one can give you happiness but you. Even God can give you happiness and joy but if you don't accept it, it will not show its magic to you. So it indeed comes from you.

This year, as I reflect, I went through a lot of crap (pardon the word) but in the midst of that pain and suffering, I felt myself getting stronger and stronger every day. My mind and my spirit are reshaped and I am happy to say that I am no longer the old me. See, we all go through tough things--moments that drain us completely--but I look at the situation outside vs. my situation inside.

My heart is like the little me, that lives in me. Only when you love your heart so much, will you ever feel what true happiness feels like. All that happens to us is temporary. We cannot allow others and anything to have tremendous power over us because that won't matter in the years to come and forever, and once they leave, your happiness will leave too.

But your heart, the very first instrument in development in our anatomy, to its paralysis defining our death, THAT is what I call a relationship that NEEDS to be healthy before any because your heart DOES have ALL power over you. It is that tool that connects you to EVERYTHING.

Your brain contains memories, information, etc., but your heart is like a parent. The brain is like a child. It thinks whatever while the heart just observes. You can literally FEEL when something is wrong or right. That's that built-in intuition of a parent and child.

What you think matters, for example, what others may think of you, or when a conversation took a rough turn, to an assignment at work or school, the brain thinks it knows what it's doing, but the heart is saying, "Just know I am here for you. It'll all be alright." The brain shuts the heart down because it doesn't want to hear anything coming from anyone.

You have let your heart down. The situation gets worse as your break up with your heart deepens. Until you hit rock bottom. You're all alone.

And that feeling of anguish is like your heart placing its hand on your knee and you look up either to the ceiling, sky, or mirror and you start to hear its voice through a song, poem, movie, or etc. saying "What have you become? I've seen you destroy yourself for this thing that broke us up when I was trying to tell you that I was here. I wanted to help you but you didn't let me. But I love you because I have been with you since the first second of your life, and I'll be here for your last. It just feels lonely when you pay more attention to the outside. I miss you. Let me help you. You were not meant for this pain."

Then you wipe your tears and get up. This next chapter of restrengthening yourself is hard at first. Like a person that has been on bedrest for weeks and is just now feeling the circulation of their blood run through their veins again, you fall and you might need crutches to walk, but you'll get there eventually.

It's just like the prodigal son; when he comes back home and everything just happens so fast. The circulation is in party mode because you have regained purpose in you again. You are together with your heart again and one day, it just hits you, that peace you have been hungry for, for so long.

Then everything starts to make sense. That is when you learn you are where you belong. Your heart is a gift from God. It is the "phone call" if you will, that connects you to him.

And that is why happiness comes from there, because God places its meaning deep in there, you just have to dig deep in there to find it. But trust me it's there. If it is taking long, it's because your mission here requires more grit and strength.

That struggle is only preparing you for that. But KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE and you'll get there one day. Be faithful to your heart. Because it is the only thing that has been there with you and it will be there with you until the end.