Dating is hard, but finding a decent human worth your time is harder. It takes so much effort, a lot of disappointment, and very little success. I often hear people complaining about how they always go after the wrong ones, but usually it's that they realized they were the wrong one and tried to make it work anyways. You might wonder what are the signs, how does one avoid wasting time? No worries, I have become an expert (being the victim and the offender), and I am here to tell you all of the signs on why this person is not worth your time.
1. Too much charm, too fast:
This meaning, right off the bat you know this person is trouble. The flash of a very mischievous smile, you'll melt and that's where it all begins. As much as you want to keep your guard up, you will fall for the charm 10/10 times.
2. They are still involved with their Ex:
You'll hear the occasional story of them still hanging out with their ex, but of course you'll assume it's a rumor, or when you ask them about it they'll laugh and give some explanation for it. You'll believe it, because of the charm.
3. A little controlling:
Whether it's making an under the table comment about you going out all the time, or even taking your phone. When you see a controlling personality; run for the hills.
4. They care more about themselves:
Taking more selfies than necessary, checking themselves out in the mirror, or always interrupting your stories for their stories, is a classic self-absorbed person's move. This just screams "I really only care about myself", aka they will never actually have time to care about you.
5. They keep you in the dark:
This is the most important one!!! If you're trying to go do things outside of "Netflix 'n Chill" and they insisting on staying in, bench 'em. 99 percent of the time, they are trying not to be seen in public with you.
6. Emotionally Unavailable:
This meaning, talking to them can be like talking to a wall of no feelings. You're trying and they are kind of just there. This happens mostly because they are still hung up on their ex (reference #2), or simply just interested in your company, rather than you as a whole. Sometimes this isn't always their fault, but it's definitely something you do not want to deal with.
7. Games, games, and more games:
This can range from things like blowing up your phone, but then ignoring you once you're spotted, to talking about how they like you but then never making the commitment.
8. Protective over weird things:
From guarding their phone, to leaving you alone. Some things are meant to raise those red flags in your head, don't avoid them.
9. Call their exes "insane":
When this is said, remember that they once dated and had feelings for each other, and if they are willing to call that person crazy, what would they say about you when yall aren't even officially together. Anyone that will bash their ex, will bash you from the same mouth they beg you from.
10. Not consistent:
This can follow up with many of the points mentioned above. In my opinion, they might not be consistent because they have their mind on multiple people, or are just trying to be trying to play hard to get, BUT if they feel the need to have all the power by playing hard to get, you don't need them in your life.
11. A lot of sorry, not a lot of action:
Saying Sorry can make up for a lot, unless you say sorry repeatedly. The fact of the matter is, messing up a couple of times proves we are human, and a sincere apology can do the truck, but when that couple of times is multiplied by ten, then one can tell that their words do not match their actions.
The truth is, the people who act like this (everything mentioned above) are actually playing games and are actually emotionally unavailable. Eventually they'll push you until you end it, but with their charm, you'll relapse and then officially learn your lesson. We have all been a victim to this personality, so I am just here to save you from dealing with this. Good luck, and happy hunting (for someone worth your time).
