How To: Black Friday | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

How To: Black Friday

All is fair in love and shopping.

Melani Sarhadi
Nov 22, 2016
University of California, Santa Barbara
26
How To: Black Friday
Memes

You just spent your entire day discussing how thankful you are for everything you have and you've finally napped off the food bloat. What is the next rational action? SHOPPING SPREE!!! Black Friday shopping is exhilarating and leaves you with a strong sense of fulfillment; however, one can not simply just jump into it. It demands careful planning and timely movement. Here are the steps to having a successful Black Friday:

STEP ONE: CCC (Comfortable Colorful Clothing)

You would think "Hey, it's Black Friday! I should wear all black, right?" WRONG. This is not your sorority's themed gathering. Neon yellow is the new black in this case. You want visibility over stealth because that Thanksgiving pedicure isn't going to be able to sustain itself after being repeatedly trampled on.

STEP TWO: CAFFEINE

What ever your poison is, GET IT. You need to be alert and ready to claw out that 95 percent mark-down out of other potential buyers' hands! Don't be that girl that falls asleep in the dressing room while her friends are getting fantastic deals!

STEP THREE: OPPOSITES ATTRACT

Do you like your best friends? If the answer is yes, DO NOT bring the one that is your long-lost identical twin. Take the one that completes you because she is the opposite of you. Bring the moon to your sun! You do not want to lose friendships you've spent so many years grooming and blooming over a priced-down romper!

STEP FOUR: "JUST IN CASE" DOESN'T EXIST

"I'm just going to bring an extra $200 just in case" translates directly to "I'm going to spend this extra $200 without a doubt." There is no such thing as "just in case." You are going to be tempted by the billion flashing red deal signs floating around your head. Be smart and responsible about how much you spend. Making it rain may sound like a good idea at the time, but you don't want to feel the weight of that guilt the next day!

STEP FIVE: ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND SHOPPING

Don't be a shy Sally on this day. Be ready to fight for what you believe in (i.e. that cashmere sweater). That girl holding your hopes and dreams (in the form of a clothing article) may look super sweet now, but you didn't see her yank something out of an elderly's hands an hour ago!

If you keep these five steps in mind, you should find yourself the owner of a lot of underpriced items. Congratulations! You deserve a long nap. Gotta rest up for winter holiday shopping!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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